|"Blessed is he who aims for center mass."|
Glock Chapter 3, verse 2
|"If there are no more questions pertaining to|
SB193, and not my name, I move that we vote."
Probably, but still...the Alabama law, which just passed the State Senate and is moving on to the House, authorizes Briarwood Presbyterian Church in Birmingham to employ its own police officers with all the duties and powers of regular police officers, but whose jurisdiction is limited to the Church's property. On the surface the bill, SB193, written by State Senator Jabo Wagoner-wait, yeah, that's real, Jabo Wagoner. Anyway, the bill sounds kind of reasonable, like, they'd basically be security guards except with full police powers, sort of like universities that have their own cops.
|Pictured: what comes to mind anytime|
the phrase 'southern cop' is mentioned.
So why does this make me feel all, you know, judgy? Because Alabama, that's why. It's a state kind of famous for that combination of Jesus and guns that just doesn't sit well with NPR-loving, ACLU mailing list blue-staters like myself. Armed church cops just totally plays into the narrative of corrupt good ol'boy authority figures in the South who will pull you over just for having out-of-state plates and then adds a hint of Iranian religious police. And speaking of, if this was a mosque that wanted to have its own police force, wouldn't everybody be loosing their shit?
|"It's only religious fundamentalism|
when non-white people do it."
I suppose it's possible that I'm just coming at this with my own baggage, but doesn't Birmingham have like, you know, their own cops? So why does this church need their own police force answerable only to them? And why are more guns the answer to an already dangerous, gun-filled world? And besides, this is Alabama, isn't everyone in church already armed?
|Above: a negative, but not entirely unearned stereotype.|