|Holy shit Electoral College,|
we're like 0 for 2 here. Little help?
Our next President, who makes being uninformed a point of pride, was chosen by a minority of voters which is like the opposite of how elections are supposed to work. He 'won' because he had the support of mostly white, mostly male voters who, thanks to decades of gerrymandering, go to the polls in states where their vote just counts more.
|The Electoral College:|
"Helping Red States feel appreciated since 2000..."
|Pictured: Pretty much this but |
instead of the bomb, he's riding
white people's persecution complexes.
|It's like if the judge in Miracle on 34th Street|
was like, 'Nah, the old man's bananas.' And
it ended with Santa pumped full of thorazine.
Take this one elector from Arizona who told the Washington Post that:
"Honestly, it (the letters) had an impact...but I signed a loyalty pledge. And that matters."
-Carole Joyce, presumably while the Battle Hymn
of the Republic played softly in the background
|I'm sure years from now, the mutants who will live in the catacombs |
beneath the burnt out ruins of our civilization will appreciate you and
your unswerving loyalty to the former host of The Apprentice, Carole.
|Even Aaron Burr agrees with us on|
why Trump is a terrible idea and he's
the damn fool who shot Hamilton.
Donald Trump is a face tattoo and America is drunk and sitting in the chair at the tattoo place and the Electoral College is our sober friend who's supposed to take us home and put us to bed but isn't, so my question is holy shit Electoral College, what are you waiting for?
|This is going to be all of us on the morning of January 21st.|