What, do you hate kids or something?

"I hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of 
Scandal, because now your soul is mine!"

So remember back in 2012 when One Million Moms tried to get everyone to boycott J.C. Penny? Here, click this. No? Fine, I'll sum up: The retailer's spokesperson at the time was Ellen Degeneres, and OMM didn't want shoppers catching the gay. Holy shit right? How hate-filled and vitriolic do you have to be to go after Ellen? Very. They're a 40,000 member sub-group of The American Family Association (one of the Prop 8 organizations) who are tasked (by themselves) with warning people about how Satan-y the media is.

Above: the titular Sex Box whose opacity was
far more instrumental in the show's cancellation
 than OMM would have you believe.

How effective are their campaigns? Well, they claim to have been responsible for canceling WeTV's Sex Box, a U.S. version of a British show in which couples have sex in a sound-proof, opaque box while a studio audience sits around awkwardly. Then, when they emerge, everyone discusses. We talked about this awhile back. The show was cancelled after five episodes, which I'm pretty sure had more to do with how stupid and terrible it was, and not because a bunch of sanctimonious self-appointed media watch-dogs turned their collective frown upon it.

Anyway, why are we talking about these obnoxious Helens Lovejoy? Because now they're angry about The Muppets.

The heads of all 40,000 members of One Million Moms just exploded.

Above: The Muppets encouraging
pantslessness since 1955.

Specifically the new Muppet show which premiered on Tuesday. Its format is closer to The Office or 30-Rock in that it's a single camera, fake documentary that follows the Muppets behind the scenes of Miss Piggy's talk show. Their outrage stems from, well, some sort of personal issues I'd imagine. I'd rather not speculate, but their problem with The Muppets, is the show's slightly more adult content which, c'mon, I don't know if you've seen it yet, but it's like PG at worst.

"I just don't know what to do. If only
there was some way to turn the TV...off."

-Concerned parent

But that's subjective I guess. The group's complaint is focused on the idea that unsuspecting parents might assume that the series is for children and will then have to explain all the filthy, filthy jokes to their kids. Eww, right? I mean, who wants to prepare kids for the world around them? Or, God forbid, monitor their children's television watching? Not these mothers. You'd think they could just post a simple announcement on their website along the lines of 'Attention fellow humorless evangelicals: the new Muppet show challenges your worldview. Avoid at all costs."

But no, that would be too reasonable. One Million Moms (again, it's just a name) demands that the series halt production, all copies be burned, buried and then that the earth be salted so that nothing may grow where it lie. Because the children. The children!

I'm sorry are you saying that you don't support One Million Moms and their efforts
to clean up the media? Why do you hate the children so much? You're just the worst...