Monday, January 7, 2013

Chuck Chuck Bo Buck...*

"Well, hello there..."
-Abraham Lincoln
Did you know there are gay Republicans? I mean like actual out of the closet, comfortable with who they are gay Republicans, and not just the guys who get arrested for wide-stancing in the men's room. They call themselves the Log Cabin Republicans and they're upset about the President's choice of Republican Chuck Hagel for Secretary of Defense. Why are they called Log Cabin Republicans? I guess Lincoln grew up in a log cabin, and he was maybe a little gay so...hey, I don't know, they just are, ok?

Look out! They're
gay-ing aggressively at us!
Anyway, while Republicans eating their own like a pack of hungry Orcs is sort of in vogue right now, the Log Cabins say they're upset about Hagel's anti-gay positions like his opposition to the Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal, and certain comments he's made like calling U.S. Ambassador James Hormel "openly, aggressively gay..." back in 1998. They're even taking out a full page ad to point out the fact that Hagel has only apologized for his homophobic comments 14 years later because he's up for the Secretary of Defense position.

Yeah, ok, so Hagel's a dick, that's fair, but this is a group who, (albeit grudgingly) endorsed Mitt Romney last year despite his record, so critics are probably right to accuse the LCR of trying to torpedo the nomination just to spite the President.
President Obama could declare March National Ronald Reagan and Waving American Flag Month
and the Republicans would fight him tooth and nail so, you know, whatever.
And I'd like a Hover Board.
Guess which is going to happen first.
So what's up with these guys anyway? According to their website, Log Cabin Republicans want " build a stronger, more inclusive Republican Party by promoting the core values of limited government, individual liberty, personal responsibility, free markets and a strong national defense while advocating for the freedom of equality of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans." Tall order, no? Look, I don't want to tell them how to run their crazy gay/conservative club, but wouldn't it just be faster and easier to join the DNC and promote free markets or whatever?

What do we want?
LGBT Equality!
When do we want it?
There's no rush.
I mean, the Republican party runs almost entirely on a platform of traditional values, which is Republican-speak for straight white Christian values, you know, the opposite of gay-friendly. Joining the GOP to advocate for gay rights is like joining the Stormtroopers to advocate for Wookie rights. It just seems, you know, counterproductive. You might even say aggressively counterproductive.
Although in defense of The Empire, they are pretty good on gay rights.
*As a matter of fact, no, I'm not better than that.

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