Friday, February 11, 2011


Not this kind of Wizard.
The racist kind...
Oh my god, what is wrong with people? Check out this story. What? Too busy? Fine, here's the gist: The Mississippi Sons of Confederate Veterans (I think they're like really, really old) want the state to issue a license plate commemorating Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest who, according to my exhaustive research (of wikipedia) was not only a slave trader and a war criminal, but was also a grand wizard in the KKK. So I ask again, what is wrong with people? Specifically these people.

We're just defending our way of life. You know, by
enslaving humans and draining the Earth of Energon.

Why are we supposed to treat the Confederacy like it was just an opposing but equally valid viewpoint? They were basically the Decepticons of U.S. history.* Can't we all agree that what they were fighting for was wrong? Yeah, the South was fighting to preserve its economy and way of life, but that economy and way of life was built on owning people and forcing them to work for no money. So seriously, screw them.

Slave Enthusiast Thomas Jefferson:
aka 'The Nickel Guy'

I guess we do put people like slave owners George Washington and Andrew Jackson on money and we should totally have more qualms about that, but they did other things as well (like join the Freemasons, and I think they were both in politics or something). General Nathan Bedford Forrest is pretty much known for fighting in a rebellion against the U.S. Don't we put people in prison for that? You know what I say? No license plate for him-ever. So chew on that, Mississippi Department of Motor Vehicles.

Hey, you know which Mississippian does deserve to be on a license plate? This guy:
Go on, try to deny it.
More like Andrew Jackass...
Oh, burn!

That's right, Jim Henson. He invented Muppets and brought joy to millions of children and adults around the world. Henson, in every measurable way, led a more worthwhile life than Nathan Bedford Forrest. He didn't own anyone, he didn't kill anyone and he didn't lead a racist post-war hate-group in a campaign of intimidation, assault and murder. Advantage: Henson. So, why isn't he on every license plate in Mississippi right now? What kind of world would it be if General Klanny McSlavetrader gets a license plate before the voice of Kermit the Frog? Better yet, let's put Jim Henson on the twenty dollar bill, that would be awesome. Move over Andrew 'Trail of Tears' Jackson.

Very few Confederate casualties
were resurrected by Unicron.
*Yeah, so I'm equating the South during the Civil War with the bad guys from the Cybertronian Wars and this is probably not entirely fair. Not everyone who fought with the rebels was a bad person, few owned slaves themselves and many were just defending their home. Also, state's rights (except when it comes to owning people), is a more complicated issue than Autobots vs. Decepticons. We shouldn't forget the many thousands who lost their lives or sparks on both sides of these terrible conflicts. That said, we really shouldn't be sticking a slave-owning, Klu Klux Klansman on a license plate either. That's just messed up.

Zoinks! It's like,
old man Weatherby!

p.s. Check out the Facebook Group mentioned in the article: Mississippians Against the Commemoration of Grand Wizard Nathan Forrest. They're kind of like last month's Tweet-Wielding Super Heroine Jennifer Huddleston, (what with their Southern awesomeness) but with Facebook.

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