|Hey Harps, fuck you.|
|William Seward, |
Secretary of Makin' Out 1861-65
Wow. I really hate it when the word family gets used as code for straight white christians. For real. Also, check out the text of the 'shield': To protect young Harps shoppers. I guess they're saying that the youth of Arkansas is so mentally fragile that they can't handle the fact that Elton John is married to a dude with whom he has a child. Is the mere suggestion of gayness really enough to send southerners running? If so, the Civil War could have been over in a week and without all the killing and Atlanta burning. Lincoln could have driven around the south in a stage coach making out with William Seward. War over. Also: rumors confirmed.
Harps has since relented, but should we even care at this point? Instead of taking the opportunity to apologize and own up to their mistake, the Harps spokeswoman blamed their customers saying that complaints from shoppers prompted the manager to deploy the 'Family Shield' and save us from Elton's gay-rays. Classy. And then there's this awesome statement from Harps' CEO I stole from the Vancouver Sun article:
|"What? Some of my best |
friends are gay
British pop icons."
"Both our employees and our customers come in all shapes and sizes, beliefs and preferences, Harps has never and would never discriminate. We are sorry these events caused misunderstandings."
-Roger Collins, CEO, DB
|Starbucks Coffee, now available in|
Tall, Grande and Two Gay Dads.
So I guess that's it. Harps has succeeded in embarrassing the south as well as the entire nation in front of the Australians, the British, and pretty much every country that calls soccer football and has access to the internet. Not to mention the fact that this story was beamed into space and is probably right now tipping the scales on Klendathu in favor of invading Earth. Thanks Harps, thanks a bunch.
|"Hey Ted, did you see that thing about that grocery store and the Elton John magazine cover?"|
"Yeah, they put a warning label on it or something...these guys are from that planet? Oh, let's get'em!"