Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Sheisse the Chancellor of Germany Says

Look out Poland, Germans are
feeling under-appreciated.

Dear Chancellor Merkel,

Listen, Ange, I know that yours is a kinder, gentler Germany than say the Germany of 1914, and of course the Germany of 1936 so do you think that maybe we could go full century without a World War? I mean, if you recall, neither of the first two World Wars you guys started ended very well for Germany. 

The German Chancellor
ranting behind a podium:
This doesn't bode well.
Here, check out this study. It says that 13% of people living in Germany would welcome a Führer. A god-damned Führer, like this one. Is railing against foreign influences and extolling the virtues of traditional German culture really the best message to be putting out there right now? It seems to me that you've got a bigger problem than just unemployment and a crap economy. People are missing Hitler on your watch. Even worse is that a lot of people (yup, same article) are blaming Germany's woes on immigrants and religious minorities. So maybe instead of declaring multiculturalism dead, shouldn't you be trying to bring people together? I mean, you're the face of a nation (you and this guy, what's up with that anyway?), try to set an example. 

Movable type, Three Men
and a Baby, is there anything
the Gute can't do?

And for the record, multiculturalism isn't dead, check out our country. Sure, we still have our problems (Glenn Beck), but after two centuries Americans are almost entirely sort of more equal than not (more or less). So don't give up just yet. Did Martin Luther give up when Pope Leo X demanded he retract his 95 theses? And Johannes Gutenberg, I mean someone must have been against movable type. Did he let that stop him? Nope. And Adolf Hitler. Did he give up when he tried to invade Russia? Actually no, he got his ass yeah, keep that in mind.

What? You did start it.
Look, Germany is supposed to be a bastion of rational, progressive people with tiny-lensed glasses playing Settlers of Catan and apologizing for the War. Yeah, when times are tough we all go for the warm comforting glow of nationalism. For us it's baseball, apple pie and the unfocused, and vaguely racist rage of the Tea Party (yes they are). For you guys I suspect it's Fußol, Aprel Strudel and fascism. But for real. Better times are ahead if you all stick together.

Stickin' together is what good waffles do.

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