I don't think he's doing the math here...

Because I mean, how many showed up to try and overturn the election results? Something like twenty five hundred. Which, is a lot, sure, but--hang on, I'm getting ahead of myself. 

Explain to me how they're the law and order party?

Not to be confused with the radical, vicious,
racist regular people that make up his base.

So at a campaign rally in--wait, is it a campaign rally if the person holding it hasn't actually announced that they're running? At one of those events the former President holds where a bunch of dumbasses show up and cheer all the racist, self-serving, nonsense that spews out of his cheeseburger-hole, Donald Trump started winging on about the "radical, vicious, racist prosecutors" who are after him and expressed his hope that any malfeasance on their part should be met with a spontaneous outpouring of support from Americans, in the form of mass protests. 

Speaking of, anyone else like, super excited
to watch Giuliani speak to the committee?

Yes, to be clear, whilst his political allies, aides and supporters are under investigation for their involvement in a coup attempt, one that Trump himself may be implicated in--and let me be clear, of course he incited it, we watched him do it, and then stand by while it played out and then it wasn't until it had definitely failed did he tell them how great they were and then grudgingly ask them to maybe go home now--wait-where was I? Right, ok, so while the January Sixth committee is still investigating the coup attempt, he's already publicly calling for another one.

I guess he only loves America when
he's got the nuclear launch codes...

Huh? Jumping to conclusions? Me? Never. What he said to his rabid-foam supporters was:

"If these [prosecutors] do anything wrong or illegal, I hope we are going to have in this country the biggest protests we ever had in Washington, D.C.,  in New York, in Atlanta and elsewhere, because our country and our elections are corrupt..."

-Former President Trump, on what

a corrupt country we all live in

"No, it's not you. Naked hypocrisy
is a prerequisite for joining the GOP."

-The guy who stole two

Supreme Court seats

Wai-wai-wait. Let me see if I've got this: when you or I say, maybe criticize some aspect of the United States, we're America hating, socialist liberals. But when he makes a vague blanket denouncement of America as a whole, and our electoral system, the very one that let a guy who lost the popular election by three million votes, he's get a round of applause? Is it me, or is criticizing America only un-patriotic when Democrats do it? Anyway, it kind of seems he should take the advice we usually get when we expresses frustration with some aspect of the United States: "if you don't like it, leave." 

Which might not be the worst idea for someone in his position right now. I mean, look, I think there's at best a one in a hundred chance that Donald Trump faces consequences for his actions before, during, or after his time in office. He is, after all, a wealthy white male. But one the off chance that he does face charges at some point, some country that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the U.S. might be a nice move.

Although he did dismiss a number of those countries as shitholes,
leaving Maldives, Bhutan, Madagascar--wait, goddamnit, why
are all the countries ousted strongmen can flee to vacation spots?

Free with every vote!

But we were talking about his threat of another coup, and yes, you're right, he didn't explicitly say "take to the streets and instal me as President for life." He did however essentially say that any election that doesn't result in him winning is corrupt and he also suggested that if he becomes president again, there might be pardons coming for those charged with crimes during the January 6th coup attempt. And I don't think it's much of a walk to say that an offer of pardons for last year's insurrection isn't a tacit offer for pardons for a future insurrection. 

Above: That time they sent Press
Secretary Sean Spicer out to lie to our
collective face about crowd size. 

But if somehow he does end up in court, I don't think his fans are going to need some misstep on the part of the prosecution to take to the streets. These people are still out there raving about how the election was stolen and how the COVID vaccine causes cancer. Or mind-control. Or lycanthropy. Or whatever. My point is that they're already primed and loading their guns because that's what nutters do. But the biggest protests ever? I find that unlikely. Remember his inauguration crowd?

I'm just suggesting that some hypothetical "Keep Trump from Facing Consequences for Crimes March," is going to have some stiff competition. There's the 2017 Women's March when five million people showed up the day after Trump's meager inauguration turnout. Oh, and then there's the 2020 Black Lives Matter demonstrations that saw something like twenty-six million people come out in the middles of a pandemic. Again, for those keeping score, that's a thousand times and ten-thousand times the insurrection's turnout respectively. 

But yes, I'm sure Americans will turn out in droves to
support the guy most of us voted against--twice.