Today in other people who should resign:

Wai-wai-wai-wai-wait. So he's not going to resign because while he's done blackface before he's not the guy in blackface in that specific photo and holy shit, do you know how hard it is to get shoe polish off? Also Michael Jackson is involved.

Oh yes, brace yourself, because a white guy is about to roll out the ol'
'I was just doing a Michael Jackson impersonation' defense. Let's watch:

Pictured: not the photo we're talking
about, but instead, puppies!

If you haven't already heard, a photo recently surfaced (on a conservative website) of Virginia governor Ralph Nothram's medical school yearbook from 1984 showing two white men in super-racist costumes. One is in blackface and the other is in KKK robes. And Northram released a statement owning up to the fact that he was in that photo although he wasn't specific about which ultra-offensive figure was him and everyone, I mean everyone has demanded he resign.

"I am deeply sorry for the decision I made to appear as I did in this photo and for the hurt that decision caused then and now."

-Governor Ralph Northram's statement,

in which he apologizes but...huh, doesn't resign

"Does...does he not get that this isn't
really up for debate? Because it's not."

-Cory Booker, confused

Which is weird, because he's got to resign, right? I mean, he's a Democrat and Democrats don't put up with this kind of shit. Republicans, sure, I think it's in the platform, but among the chorus calling for Northram's resignation are Nancy Pelosi, Cory Booker, Kamala Harris-like, everyone running for President. He has to resign, right? So later in the day he addressed Virginians in a video where he again apologized for-I mean holy shit, this was 1984, not 1884, how could he possibly think this was-anyway, here's his video address:

Pictured: Northram apologizing for
appearing in that photo. Not pictured:
Northram offering his resignation.

"My fellow Virginians, earlier today I released a statement apologizing for behavior in my past that falls far short of the standard you set for me when you elected me to be your governor. I believe you deserve to hear directly from me. That photo and the racist and offensive attitudes it represents does not reflect the person I am today or the way that I have conducted myself as a soldier, doctor and as a public servant. I am deeply sorry..."

-Governor Northram, strangely not

mentioning how he's resigning

Surely he's getting to the 'I resign' part, right? He goes on:

"Did I miss the part where he said:
'I resign?' Because he needs to resign."

-Kamala Harris, 

asking for clarification

"I cannot change the decisions I made, nor can I undo the hard my behavior caused then and today. But I accept responsibility for my past actions and I am ready to do the hard work of regaining your trust. I have spent the past year as your governor fighting for a Virginia that works better for all people. I am committed to continuing that fight through the remainder of my term and living up to the expectations you set for me when you elected me to serve. Thank you."

-Governor Northram...still not 

resigning? Wait, that can't be right...

Speaking of, could we all agree that
 Drizzt cosplay maybe shouldn't be a thing?
I mean, just, just don't do it.

No 'it is with great reluctance I hereby relinquish blah blah' or 'you won't have Ralph Northram to kick around anymore?' Has the 'who I was then is not who I am now' defense every really sounded convincing? Even if true, the fact that he never mentioned this photo until after he got called out on it makes it sound pretty 'I'm sorry I got caught.' Ok, so he's planning to live 'up to the expectations Virginians set for him when they elected him.' Cool but when they elected him they didn't know he used to be into racially charged cosplay.

Ok, so obviously this is totally unsatisfactory, but that was yesterday and today Northram held a press conference. Surely this was when he resigned:

"When I was confronted with the images yesterday, I was appalled that they appeared on my page, but I believed then, and now, that I am not either of the people in that photo."

-Northram on how that's totally not him you guys

Wait, do you mean that metaphorically this time? Like, that's not the person you are now?
Or are you saying you're literally not the racist buffoon in that photo? 'Cuz it's hard to tell with you.

What? People in Virginia like to hunt,
and sometimes people use dogs to help.
How am I being a jerk here?

Now he says that it was his responsibility to recognize how racist that photo was and to make sure the yearbook wasn't published. Which is not what he said yesterday. Like at all. And look, I don't live in Virginia so, I've got no dog in this hunt as I imagine they say there, but I don't believe him. Like at all.

"I recognize that many people will find this difficult to believe."

-Ralph Northram, not wrong

Ok...so after making the statement, Northram went home and thought about it and decided that neither person in the photo was him, but that he went to a super racist school and totally did other racist things including going to a dance contest in which he dressed up like Micheal Jackson complete with shoe polish on his face. But Northrum explained that he only used 'a little bit of shoe polish.' So, you know, it's cool.

Is...is he suggesting there's a specific amount of shoe polish
a white guy can smear on his face before it's racist?

"The secret is dish soap. Takes it right off."

-Al Jolson

"...and the reason I used a very little bit is because, I don't know if anybody's every tried that, but you cannot get shoe polish off."

-Northram explaining that 

it was only a little blackface

Cool, so his defense is that while he wasn't in that specific photo, he's apologizing anyway because he did other, different blackface but only a little because, you know, shoe polish.

"If one of us resigned every time we
said or did something egregious..."

-Trump, nailing it

Again, not in Virginia, but holy shit resign. Yes, I know tons of Republicans routinely do racist shit and nobody bats an eye. There's the border wall, those MAGA people and I think Steve King from Iowa is just openly a white nationalist and they're all cool with it. Because they're the party of Lincoln? I guess? But whatever. If the Democratic party is going to keep the moral high ground-ok, whatever passes in this goat-rodeo that is twenty-first century American politics for the moral high ground-then Ralph Northam seriously needs to start clearing out his desk. Like, today.

It's not like Virginia doesn't have a Lieutenant Governor to take up the reigns, I checked, his name's Justin Fairfax and he's a Democrat so it's not like the party is loosing a governorship. So like, resign already and stop giving the middle of the road 'both sides are to blame so let's run as an independent' dumbasses the satisfaction.

Pictured: Soon to be Governor Justin Fairfax (left), and Northram
on election night back when they...huh, do you suppose that this might
have been an awkward conversation for everyone involved?