Ronald Reagan Day? Seriously?

Is it weird that I kind
of want some of these?

Do you know what today is? Well get a hat and then prepare to hold on to it, because today is-huh? Yeah...it is Ronald Reagan Day. How...did you know that? More importantly why do you know that? I only knew it because it also happens to be my birthday and I was looking online for something to write about. Well, whatever, it's only a thing in two states: California and Wisconsin. In California it's not a holiday but instead is a 'day of recognition.' We recognize that Reagan was, around. I guess I get it because he was the governor and-huh? I said I get it, I didn't say I approve. But Wisconsin? There it's an actual state holiday so...I hope you sent out your cards?

Among the arms sold were machine guns,
flame throwers and the dreaded spread gun.

(source: public school)

I mean, Reagan Day? Didn't he once sell arms to Iran in order to fund a right-wing terrorist group in Nicaragua? Or what about that time he fired air traffic controllers who went on strike thus forever weakening the bargaining position of unions? Oh, and he also vetoed the Civil Rights Restoration act of 1987, because why should states have to recognize civil rights just to get federal funding? And the AIDS crisis? Holy shit. Then there was the War on Drugs which, ok, that was Nixon, but still, how'd that go? On the plus side though, he did single handedly end the Cold War and now America and Russia are closer than ever. We even let them pick our presidents now.

I suppose we're also supposed to reflect on what was possibly Ronald Reagan's greatest contribution: Reaganomics. You know, the principle of economics that suggests that by lowering taxes on corporations and the wealthy, money will 'trickle down' to everyone else...

Pictured: President Reagan meeting with top officials to discuss economic policy.

Above: A typical wealthy person
diving into their vast fortune.

Except it turns out that corporations and the wealthy love having more money and when you give them the choice between keeping that money or paying living wages, they opt for the former. Seems like we could just cut out the middle step here and tax the shit out of corporations and the wealthy-you know, for keeping all that money out of circulation and hoarding it in their money bins, and everyone would be better off. But what do I know? I'm not an economist. Of course, neither was Reagan. He was an actor and actors are famous for great financial decisions, right?

I just had a chilling thought: will there be a Donald Trump Day some day? Like, there're just enough stupid idiots out there to make something like that happen. How would one even celebrate Donald Trump Day? Vodka and cheeseburgers? Angry, incoherent tweets? Some kind of MAGA cake? Anyway, to my fellow Californians and for some reason Wisconsinites, Happy Ronald Reagan Day, and remember: it could always be worse.

Tastes like buttercream and emboldened white nationalism!