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| "Eh...it's just a small box of pure nostalgia tailor made for a generation obsessed with reliving their childhoods. Let's crank a few out and then get back to Labo. Cardboard is going to be huge!"
-Nintendo, circa 2016
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| "Honestly, I hate you all. I mean, grow up."
-Nintendo's then President
Tatsumi Kimishima, to fans
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Predictably, all of these things were quickly snapped up by scalpers and sold on Amazon for like five times their original price. Nintendo, sensing that they may have disappointed their loyal fans quickly apologized and announced that they'd be discontinuing the NES classic immediately...because business. But they eventually made it all better by announcing a mini Super NES and said there would be plenty to go around except there wasn't and it was also a shit show. You know, sometimes I kind of wonder if Nintendo doesn't hate their fans...Anyway, remember all that? Cool.
In what can only be described as a stunningly daring and original business move, Sony has decided to do exactly the same thing. Like, the exact same thing (see left). And I don't mean they looked at Nintendo's tiny plug and play consoles and decided to imitate it-although that's precisely what their doing, right down to naming their tiny Playstation the Playstation Classic and including a bunch of games that are already available in digital format. Games that you've probably already have access to if you have a Playstation Network subscription.
The tiny Playstation is already up for pre-order and five of the fifteen games have been revealed. All but one of which, Tekken 3, are on Playstation Network right now. Chances are though if you're a Playstation fan you already have a couple Tekken games. But Sony knows that we can be relied upon to shell out a hundred bucks for a tiny Playstation months in advance, without knowing the full roster of games. For all we know the other fifteen games are shovelware like that tiny Genesis had or ports of shitty mobile games, like phones have.
But whatever, Nintendo didn't invent the concept of plug and play consoles, they just invented the concept of making them unnecessarily hard to find. Unsurprisingly, a couple days in the tiny Playstation pre-orders are already sold out at a few places and the cynic in me thinks this was a calculated move designed to create false scarcity. Sony even put the phrase 'limited quantities' in the product description which suggests to me that they are absolutely hoping to create the impression that these things are going to be scarce even if they're not.
When Nintendo pulled this they swore it was because they thought their
mini console would appeal to casual gamers in their thirties and forties
who hadn't picked up a game in years and who might want to relive their
childhoods. Then they said that they were totally caught off guard by the millions
of fans who, despite being grown-ass adults still play old games and
routinely re-buy the same games every time Nintendo re-releases them.
Huh? Yes...because we're chumps, that's why. Consistent chumps though. Man, they've really got our number...
But whatever, Playstation has a built in fan base which, like Nintendo's fans, is going to buy the shit out of this. So while 'limited quantities' may be technically accurate in the sense that, strictly speaking, a finite number of Playstation Classics exist in the universe, there's nothing preventing them from making a ton of them. I mean, other than the need to convince gamers that they'd be fool not to pre-order one of these right now before they run out.
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| "What if we did exactly what Nintendo did, but you know, with our thing?"
-Someone at Sony
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| Yup, I said it, all mobile games are, by definition, shitty. |
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| What? Did you think there's just a big building somewhere where things are produced in mass quantities? |
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| "Twenty-three skidoo!"
-grown ass adults
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But whatever, Playstation has a built in fan base which, like Nintendo's fans, is going to buy the shit out of this. So while 'limited quantities' may be technically accurate in the sense that, strictly speaking, a finite number of Playstation Classics exist in the universe, there's nothing preventing them from making a ton of them. I mean, other than the need to convince gamers that they'd be fool not to pre-order one of these right now before they run out.
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| "Better hurry! It's the only way to play classics like Final Fantasy VII! Huh? Yes, other than Playstation 3. And 4...and Vita. And Switch. And the iPhone in your pocket right now...huh? Yes, it's on Android too..goddamnit..."
-Sony
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