It's beginning to look a lot like Bastille Day!

"You all just got a lot richer!"

-The President, gloating to his rich peers

I wonder exactly what percent of the food
served at Mar-A-Lago contains waiter spit?
 I'm going to guess it's in the high 80's.

Huh? Oh, no. Not us, we're getting screwed. That comment was something the President said to the wealthy white men he surrounds himself with at Mar-A-Lago Friday night. And presumably the underpaid staff that have to wait on the aging, rich parasites whose greed has ruined America forever. Trump was referring to the tax bill he and the GOP forced into law last week over the resounding objection of the American people. A bill which will permanently reduces corporate taxes and gives everyone else a few years of lower taxes before jacking them back up again as a reminder of our place.

Oh, and fun fact: the bill saves Trump $15 million in taxes personally which I'm sure isn't a gross abuse of power. Because shut up.

"How dare you suggest that the President's motivations are anything
but another example of the selflessness with which he has always
conducted both his private and professional life. Shame on you."

-Sarah Huckabee Sanders, inevitably

Come for the golf, stay for the tacky
opulence that stands as a symbol for
everything wrong with America.

And just so I'm clear, he's bragging to the wealthy elite about how awesome his tax gift to giant corporations is at his exclusive private golf resort where members pay, no lie, $200,000 to join. Two hundred thousand dollars. Of money. And then another $14,000 in annual dues. I mean, I get why rich people might support him, but what about the base? The working class who, l'm pretty sure aren't going to be reaping the benefits of this big huge break for businesses. Businesses who, famously, avoid paying most of their taxes already?

"No, really, more jobs and higher wages
for workers and...sorry, I can't even..."

-The guys who just got richer

Sure the line is these savings will get passed on to the workers, but literally no one believes that, right? According to Bernie Sanders citing a study by the Tax Policy Center:

"Many large corporations are going to use their tax breaks to make CEO's wealthier and do very little for workers."

-Bernie Sanders, pointing

out the blindingly obvious 

"You should have listened to the bird.
Remember the little bird? Landed on
my podium? That was a sign."

Which, whatever you think of Sanders, people's champion who was robbed of his shot at the Presidency by an out of touch DNC in the pocket of Hillary Clinton, or the guy who split the Democratic vote and doomed us all, you have to, have to admit that he's not wrong here. Even this op-ed from Fortune, a magazine/website whose name is another word for 'shit ton of money' agrees with him pointing out that in a poll of 300 executives asking them what they'd do with these tax breaks, most of them said 'pay down debt and buy back shares.' 

Aren't they 1% of the population?
 Like, I think we can take'em...

So in a stunning twist, when faced with a choice between social responsibility to one's country and the interests of the shareholders, businesses choose the shareholders. In a way, I suppose we can't blame them, like, they didn't write the laws, they just take advantage of them. Well, ok, they do kind of write the laws, by proxy I mean. Like, the Supreme Court ruled that money is speech, sort of legitimizing the corporate buffet that is Congress, so yeah, on the other hand, let's totally blame them. In fact, grab some torches and pitchforks. 

Anyway, incipient peasant's revolt aside, I think the lesson here is trickle down economics was bullshit in the 80's and it's bullshit now. The only difference between America then and America now is that in 2017 we should know better. 

Well, that and whatever the hell is wrong with
these people. Is it cocaine? I think it's cocaine.