Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Today in Cake-Holes...

Hey, you know who needs to shut his cake-hole? Uh, yeah, Rand Paul...how did you know I was going to say Rand Paul?
Above: The cake-hole in question.
Go team white people!
Anyway, he went on Laura Ingram's show today to talk about the protests and rioting last night in Baltimore, because there is no one better qualified to discuss the impact that police brutality and the resulting distrust of law enforcement has on minority communities than a couple of super-conservative white people. Paul was asked to comment on the causes of the unrest but explained that it's not the time to chime in on a situation that is still unfolding. He then went on to chime in on that situation that is still unfolding:

Pictured: Just some of the fatherless,
amoral Americans Rand Paul would
like to vote for him next year.
"The thing is that really there's so many things we can talk about, it's something we talk about not in the immediate aftermath but over time: the breakdown of the family structure, the lack of fathers, the lack of a moral code in our society. And this isn't just a racial thing, it goes across racial boundaries, but we do have problems in our country and you see this and you see that we're close to the tipping point and closer to the tipping point than many think..."

-Rand Paul, winning the 
hearts and minds of voters

Like this, but at night. 
Holy shit, when did the family structure collapse? And fathers? There are no fathers in Baltimore? That's um, I don't think that's entirely true...and he's saying that he could tell all this by looking out the window? Huh? The train window. Oh, didn't I mention? Paul just passed through Baltimore on the train:

"I came through the train on Baltimore last night, I'm glad the train didn't stop."

-Rand Paul, listing his qualifications

Gee, you'd think it'd take more than blowing through a town going 45 miles an hour to fully understand the complex societal underpinnings of what's going on there and around the country right now, but there you have it: no one in Baltimore has a dad, and that's why it's on fire. Thanks Rand!
Hey Rand, you really should try the cake. It's hard for
stupid to come out of your mouth when it's full of cake.

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