|The first being the Transformers tetrology in which the heroic Autobots|
defend the human race from the evil Deceptions while at the same time raising our
awareness of GM's excellent line of products. Transform and roll out...the savings!
|But it will leave you feeling that|
they ripped-off Futurama...
| In many ways this movie will also|
be an advertisement for blow.
Ok, back to the, uh, story: so aliens are invading and the world's only hope is obviously a former video game champion played by Adam Sandler. To defeat the aliens, Sandler must team up with the President of the United States, played by Kevin James-yes, let me stop again to emphasize the fact that the unbeatable star-power that brought us I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, is reunited at last.
|Yeah, that two-hour gay joke made back in the way less |
enlightened year of 2007-wait, holy shit, really? 2007?
|Pictured: The precise moment when the|
world lost respect for Peter Dinklage.
So Sandler and Paul Blart: President are soon joined by rival video-game champion Peter Dinklage and together this rag-tag team must defeat the alien leader who has taken the form of Pac-Man. Logically, the only way to pull this off and save the world is by hoping into a fleet of candy-colored British sub-compacts and pretending to be the ghosts from the video game. Because...uh, again, I refer you to the cocaine. You're probably now left with some questions.
|"It's the only way to be sure."|
Reasonable questions like, why would the aliens bother with Atari-themed disguises instead of simply nuking us from orbit? Or why the President would rely on Adam Sandler's video gaming skills instead of, I don't know, scientists or the military or something? Of course, the only question we should be asking is 'are you goddamn kidding me, Sony Pictures?' This movie could potentially be the stupidest thing they've ever done and they almost started a war with North Korea.
Look, I'm not saying that every movie has to be Citizen Kane, but can we at least start calling out shit like this as a movie studio getting us to pay for the privilege of being advertised at? I mean, I know product placement has a long and storied history, but the least they can do is put up the pretense of subtlety.