iBall!

Welcome to the future, flesh-bags!

It looks like our quest to become actual cyborgs is another step closer to reality-wait, huh? That's not your quest? Pfffft...fine then, enjoy the global ecological collapse while the rest of us stomp around in our shiny new robot bodies free of squishy human concerns like breathing and flossing. Anyway, some geniuses from Ghent University in Belgium (yes, the waffle people) have invented contact lenses with built-in LCD technology that can connect with wireless devices and create a heads-up display in your eye. Now you'll never again have to not be on the internet!

Think of it, a constant barrage of information filling up your visual field. And because the lenses sit on your eyeballs themselves you can't even close your eyes to get away from it. It will be like having Terminator-vision but with fewer execution directives from Skynet.

What? Cybernetic components need pumpkin spice
lattés to lubricate their bio-functions. It's science.

Cindy's telling Allen about her day.
Allen's looking at porn. Everybody wins.

Oh, and it will be great in social situations. Ever been in a conversation with someone who pulls out their iPhone and starts checking Facebook like you're not even goddamn there? Happens to me all the time. Well, no longer. With these new lenses, all you'll notice is a glassy stare on your friend's face while they pin things to their Pinterest board. Outsiders will totally think you have a friend whose interested in whatever the hell your saying.

Of course with any new technology there's bound to be some fairly gruesome consequences in the short term while we all get used to being linked with the hive mind. Distracted-driving traffic accidents are likely to spike, but it's a small price to pay to finally free ourselves of human interaction.

"Oh hey Mandy. Yeah, I can talk, what's up?"