Let's celebrate Sanctimonious Dickweed Month!

Gee Tony, I guess we figured St. Patrick's
Day, Cinco De Mayo, Mardi Gras and
New Years Eve just about covered it.

Hey everybody, Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council wants to complain about how there's gay people in the world so let us, by all means, give him a mic. Recently he said the following:

"Now, I have not yet seen where they have declared...um...Adultery Pride Month, I have not seen where they have declared the Drunkenness Pride Month."

-Tony Perkins, King of the Furks

The stockings were hung by
the chimney with flair...*

Yes. June is LGBT Pride Month. What the hell does that mean? Well, technically not a whole lot. Like other Fill-in-the-blank Months, it carries no force of law. In fact, only two Presidents (Clinton and Obama) have even recognized it. As far as symbolic occasions go, it's definitely one of the easier ones to deal with. You don't have to send out cards and you don't have to buy gifts for anyone. No one's going to be forced to march in a Pride Parade. To put this into perspective: Christmas asks for caroling, presents and peace on Earth. Peace. On Earth. If you can manage to not treat someone like shit because they're gay, you'll have effectively mastered LGBT Pride Month. Congratulations, you win.


LGBT Pride Month is just America's way of saying: hey gay people, we acknowledge you exist. Tony Perkins doesn't have to do a goddamned thing, but that's not stopping him from opening his hate-hole about it.

"Nobody should be harmed because of who they are or whom they love...
I call upon the people of the United States to eliminate prejudice wherever it
exists, and to celebrate the great diversity of the the American People"

-President Obama, apparently asking too much 

"I just called them disgusting hell-bound
deviants, I don't see what their problem is."

He goes on to say: "We never asked for this debate..." Um...what debate? The Family Research Council (Hating Sodomites...since 1983) actively campaigns against marriage equality because they're a hate group and that's what they do. Take away their anti-gay platform and the Family Research Council would have to go research families or something. The relationship between a hate group and the people they hate isn't so much a debate as it is an un-provoked attack. What about what the FRC does is debate-like?

"Attention mutants, prepare for debate."

-Sentinels, making a cogent argument

in their debate with mutantkind

Perkin's Syndrome is caused by a defect
in the gene responsible for being able to
hear oneself speak. 

I suppose it's possible that Tony, as a result of some here-to-for undiagnosed medical condition, is completely incapable of hearing the horseshit that dribbles from his mouth. If that is the case and if he is genuinely, and through no fault of his own, unaware of what he's saying then I apologize for calling him a backwards, homophobic, red-state shit-merchant. Oh, didn't I? Well, I meant to. Below is another excerpt from the interview, I've inserted the rhetorical points he leaves unsaid in green (the official color of irony):

"They (homosexuals) don't have a right to redefine marriage for the rest of us (that's my job), they don't have a right to take away my religious freedom (but I have an obligation to take away theirs), they don't have a right to step between me and what my child is taught (that gays are less-equal than everyone else and that they're going to hell). That's what's happening."

-Tony Perkins, yet another victim of gay people existing

So no, Tony Perkins and the Family Research Council will not be invited to the parade.

*sorry.