Batman Vs. Some Guy

Holy shit, look out Batman! It's...uh,
Skullface? The Luchador? Muscle Guy?

Aww man, the super-villain in Batman 3 could have been the Riddler instead of freaking Bane. Check this out. Apparently Warner Brothers was keen on Leonardo DiCaprio playing Captain Question Mark in The Dark Knight Rises (seriously, no good movie has Rises in the title), which probably would have been pretty cool. I mean, he's a good actor and sure to give a more faithful interpretation of the character than Jim Carey pelvic thrusting his way through Batman Forever. But alas, director Christopher Nolan and screenwriter David Goyer decided to go with Bane leaving many casual Batman fans to ask questions like 'who the hell is Bane?' and 'no really, Bane?' 


Well, since he was never played by a special guest star on the 1960's Adam West Batman TV show, I should probably explain. And by 'explain' I mean 'sum up the Wikipedia article' because while I'm a fan of the Batman, I mostly missed this guy.

Some other villains regrettably absent in the Christopher Nolan Franchise include:
The Clock King, King Tut, Egghead and Lola Lasagna. Their powers were, respectively:
clocks, some kind of egyptian stick thing, baldness and being Ethyl Merman. 

Yeah, Batman and Robin was
 the one with the Bat-nipples.

Unlike Batman's more recognizable enemies like Mr. Freeze or Catwoman, Bane doesn't really have a theme. He's basically a serial killer who gets juiced up on super-roids and beats the shit out of people. Back in the early 90's he broke the entire Rogue's Gallery out of Arkham and then snapped Batman's spine (he got better) just to show everyone he can. Later, to the chagrin of fans, he appeared as a throw-away henchman to Uma Thurman's Posion Ivy in Batman and Robin. 

"A newspaper! Get it Batman?
It's red all over! Red? All over?"

Look, I don't have anything against Bane, and as Batman villains go he's more definitely more baddass than the Riddler, but falls squarely into the 'characters only fanboys give a shit about' category. So why is that he and not the Riddler is the big bad in The Dark Knight Rises? Got me. Sure, the Riddler's not really necessarily the best villain in DC's stable himself, I mean his M.O. is lifted out of Highlights Magazine, but at least he's got some history.



Look I shouldn't be complaining, I mean DKR (acronyms are my super-power) might be awesome. It's just that putting a relatively obscure character like Bane in such a central role just feels a little weird. It would be like filling out an X-Men movie with D-listers like Azazel, Tempest and Riptide, but what do I know?

Yeah, fine it was good and all but for real, don't pretend you knew who the hell Azazel was.