More valuable than coal?

I know how many oxen it takes to get
to Oregon in 1848. Thanks Public school!

A fifth grader named Clara Lazen just discovered a new molecule that could either store energy or explode in an extinction-level blast the likes of which our planet has never seen (hyperbole!). On the one hand, that's awesome, but on the other, it kind of bums me out. Not the doom thing, but the fact that a ten-year old invented a molecule. If she keeps this up, by the time she's my age she'll have invented hover cars. When I was 10 the greatest thing I accomplished was making it to Oregon in the Apple IIe version of Oregon Trail. In fact, that still might be my greatest accomplishment.

Above: The apocalyptic inferno that awaits us all thanks to
5th grader Clara Lazen. Way to go, kid.

10 year olds randomly putting things
together has a storied history.

According to the story, she invented this new molecule while playing with a toy molecule model and there's some confusion over whether or not her discovery was intentional or an accident. Her teacher says she was just randomly plugging atoms into one another, but she just rolls her eyes and insists she knew what she's doing. Either way, this gives me an idea. People have said for years that children are our most valuable resources, but up until now they've just been soaking up our tax dollars and beating me at Halo.

I say we put them to work. A recent experiment has indicated that a million monkeys at a million typewriters might actually come up with Shakespeare given enough time. Kids are at least as smart as monkeys (I assume) and America has like 60 million kids. Can't we hook them all up to computers or something and exploit their youthful creativity for our own benefit?

Finally, a use for tweens.