Fred Phelps does not deserve a pool.

Hey, did you know that the Westboro Baptist Church is going to protest Whitney Houston's funeral? And it's not because they're shocked and saddened by her sudden passing. Nope, they're upset that the late singer didn't use her talent to 'encourage obedience to His Word and warn the wicked that their rebellion brings destruction from the hand of God,' 

'It's a shame a certain six-time Grammy award winning recording artist
didn't better prepare you for my wrath, because I am going to Fuck. You. Up.'

-God 

Explain to me how these people are
allowed to raise children?

Also they think she was a sorceress. Yes, a sorceress. So what I want to know is why we can't just have the WBC members institutionalized or tranqued up or something. I mean they've accused the star of The Bodyguard of dabbling in the Dark Arts, what about that isn't certifiable? Can't we all agree that only crazy people believe in wizards? I know that in this country we have a freedom of religion, but this dances dangerously close to Hale-Bopp mother-ship territory and these people get their kids involved. Does anyone not see this ending with Kool-Aid and CNN?

'...and that's why I hate you all
so, so much. Especially this kid.'

-Jesus, the Rant on the Mount

As I may have mentioned before, I'm not a theologian or a philosopher or anything and I don't mean to pass judgement on the WBC people's beliefs (yes I do), but their god is a total dick. If you have a strong stomach go to their website sometime. It's all about how god hates everyone and everything except Phelps and his crazies. Gays, soldiers, America, puppies (I assume) and now Whitney Houston. Even if you're not a fan of her music, how can someone hate Whitney Houston like this? They even came up with a parody of 'I Will Always Love You' called 'God Will Always Hate You.' They're just the worst.

Maybe an 'act of god' could destroy
something that deserves it for once?

I don't condone violence or anything, I really don't, but if there is a god and he/she/it/or they wanted to send a meteor or a tornado or something to a certain Church located at 3701 South West 12th Street, Topeka Kansas, I don't think anyone would mind. Nobody has to get hurt, I mean, it could happen on a Saturday night and then in the morning when WBC pastor Fred Phelps and his flock roll up to see the smoldering remains of their vitriol factory they'll snap out of it. They'll replace their 'God Hates Fags' signs with upbeat, positive slogans like: 'How's it Going?' and 'Everything's Super!' Wouldn't that be great?

Holy shit, these assholes have a pool? Are you serious?