|"Black horsey to red square, sucker."|
|"Yeah, we actually call it back bacon, or sometimes just ham."|
|"What? Like you could name |
three of them. Go on, try it."
-Queen Victoria, 1867
So yeah, what the hell is Canada day? Well, it's the day when my people remember the enactment of the British North America act of 1867. It's sort of like the Fourth of July except instead of celebrating the casting off of a cruel and tyrannical King, the Canadians are celebrating the incorporation of the Provinces of Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and Canada into the single, more easily taxed subject Kingdom of a cruel and tyrannical Queen (what? Maybe she kicked her dog. You don't know). This was because just like most of us United Statesians, Queen Victoria had a hard time remembering the names of all the Provinces. There's was only like three of them at the time, but she was having Nunavut. Thus Canada was born.
|Shhh! It's Canada Day!|
So what do my people do on Canada Day? Well, in sharp contrast to the drunken, patriotic orgy of charred meat and illegal fireworks with which we celebrate the birth or our nation, Canadians mark the occasion with their usual restraint and dignity (they watch TV and have a beer). After all, they're just a little more civilized up there.
-Dave Boucher, typical Canadian
Notable Canadians include:
|Mutant Superhero Wolverine.|
|Noted actor and time-traveler, Michael J. Fox.|
|One quarter of me.|