|"Ello 'ello, what's all this then?"|
|"It burns, it burns!|
Please let me die..."
Ok, so great. Assassination foiled, let's celebrate. Wrong. So after torturing a confession out of Fawkes, he and his fellow conspirators were hanged drawn and quartered. Gross. Not content with leaving it at that, it then became a tradition to make effigies of Fawkes (called Guys, which is where we get the word 'guy' meaning some dude) and burn them in the streets. It's sort of like an Easter egg hunt, but instead of looking for plastic eggs filled with candy, the kids pretend they're roasting an enemy of the crown to death. Right then, good clean fun, that is! Sorry Britain, but you can't blame all your weirdness on ergot poisoning.
I know we've got some screwed up history in America, but man, British people love their public executions. Just watch any episode of the Tudors. When they're not doin' it, they're beheading someone in front of a jeering crowd of be-snaggletoothed (it's a word I just made up...) peasants. It's like Texas with pantaloons. So uh...anyway, happy Guy Fawkes Night...sickos.
|-and one of history's most bewildering |
|Henry the VIII of England, one of |
history's fattest kings-