No one to blame but ourselves...and Reagan.

Are you as sick of hearing about the eclipse as I am? Sure you are. Luckily for us, we didn't live in the path of totality--which I suppose is a far more metal way to refer to the areas that for a full eclipse than is maybe warranted--but still, it was a thing here too. 

Or maybe you did? I don't know. I can't see you.

We got something like this.
Incidentally, don't spit at hippies.

Here being Santa Cruz, California where today, thanks to the kindness of some aging hippie--you can't spit without hitting an aging hippie in this town-- who lent me his eclipse glasses, I got to see the eclipse. Or at least part of it. From here it was something like 36% occlusion. That is, the sun was partially obscured by the moon. Which, while not the kind of thing people drive from hundreds of miles to see, wasn't nothing. What it wasn't though, is a sign. Or at least a sign of anything other than the predictable motions of celestial bodies.

What? You mean to tell me there isn't 
serious Venn diagram overlap between these
folks and people who believe in omens?

An yet we, as a civilization, are still platforming people who, thanks to some dubious at best, batshit at worst logic, believe that the event is a sign from God, like actual God, that America must mend our ways. And don't get me wrong, we've got issues, many of them caused by the very same people who buy this bad omen nonsense, but nevertheless, issues. But there's something, what's the expression? Cuckoo bananas hyper-hubristic? About ascribing secret messages from the almighty meant only for America to something as straight forward as the orbital paths of the Earth and Moon.

Staley, seen here definitely not thinking
about defrauding the elderly right now.

According to convicted fraudster Pastor Jim Staley, who insists he was targeted by the government for being Christian and not because of, you know, his many crimes:

"He's (God) warning America that our light will go dark if we do not turn from our wicked ways..." 

-Pastor Jim Staley, who's totally

trustworthy you guys

Why God, who, if I remember my Sunday School, created the entire universe, would have to resort to obtuse messages that can only be interpreted by convicted felons with YouTube Channels is beyond me. But I suppose something something faith, right? 

I mean, a talking plant that's on fire? Now that's a sign we can all get behind.

Pictured: Rochester, like, 55% of the time.

Anyway, the real victims here--again, other than the elderly people who gave Jim Staley money--are the people who spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars to drive or fly to areas of the country fortunate enough to be within the path of totality only to find that they are also in the path of an overcast day. This included by hometown of Rochester, NY where, for months now, hotels have been booked solid by eclipse fans who were disappointed this morning to wake up to cloudy skies and, one presumes, a no refund sign on the counter in the lobby.

But on the retina-damaging bright side, we can all stop talking about the eclipse now. It's over, and isn't, nor was it ever, a sign that the entire country is doomed. Of course, we probably are, don't get me wrong, it's just that it has nothing to do with the moon.

It might be fun to make this out to be some dire warning from the universe,
but really when it comes to what's wrong with America, we need look no further than
inadequate school funding, the healthcare system, lobbyists, and Reagan. Mostly Reagan.