What? It's not my fault they're rubes.

It takes some...what's the word? Hutzpah? Unmitigated gall? No...fundamental inability to shut one's damn mouth and behave like a human being. Yeah, it takes some of that to make the coronavirus about yourself.

Pictured: Donald Trump, seen here talking precious time away from golf
 and violating the emoluments clause to spout gibberish at a campaign event.

"And if this doesn't work, Super-AIDS!"

-Democrats, apparently

The Presi-well, the guy who technically won the electoral college in the last election, held a rally for himself on Friday in South Carolina and-I guess it's a campaign rally? There's an election coming up, but he's been holding rallies for himself since taking office. He is, above all, an insecure, small man and I think the screaming, rabid-foam fans applauding whatever nonsense falls from his word-hole helps him combat the objective truth of his ineptitude. Anyway, he suggested that the coronavirus is a Democratic hoax. Because of course he did.

"Damnit! I can't believe the impeachment hoax
we tried on Trump's perfect conversation failed!"

-Nancy Pelosi, I guess

Here's what he said in a conversation he pretended to have with one of his people in response to the Democrats' criticism of how he's handled the response to the outbreak:

"One of my people came up to me and said 'Mr. President they tried to beat you on Russia, Russia Russia. That didn't work out too well.' They couldn't do it. They tried the impeachment hoax that was on a perfect conversation...This is their new hoax"

-The President, talking to himself

before a raucous crowd of dumbs

Pictured: the literal Nazis
the GOP is currently courting.

Cool. I'm positive that happened. I'm sure the sycophants he surrounds himself with routinely come up and fellate his ego with sound-bite worthy anecdotes about how great he is. Huh? No, I'm serious, I do think that happens. It sounds like sarcasm, but this is the world we live in now. Speaking of the not-so-subtle racist undercurrent of Trump's entire platform-huh? We weren't? Well, aren't we kind of always though? Because you'd better believe he made this about non-white people flooding our borders and spreading diseases:

"Whether it's the virus that we're talking about, or the many other public health threats, the Democrat [sic] policy of open borders is a direct threat to the health and wellbeing of all Americans."

-The guy trying to cut the CDC's budget,

blaming disease in general on immigrants

"Ughhhh...we're here for your jobs and free healthcare...ugghhhh...oh, also brains...."

-the paranoid fantasies

of the American right

Super relatable you guys...

But surely he wasn't saying the disease itself was spread by Democrats out to make him look bad (ha!), right? Well in a press conference on Saturday he insisted that he was indeed referring to the Democratic criticism as the hoax and not the disease which, ok, sure. The usual response to criticism is to counter it with contradicting evidence, not to say that it's a hoax, but whatever. After all, we all know he's not great at word talking. It makes him relatable to the people or something.

"Better warm up those thoughts and prayers."

-the thin, silver line between 

us and a global epidemic

He went on to say that "there's no need to panic." And that "this is something that's being handled professionally." No, he didn't resign. But he has put noted science-denier and coat-tale rider Mike Pence in charge of the government response. Anyway, back to the question of exactly what he meant when he refereed to "their new hoax." What I'm saying is that his supporters- that is the kind of people that show up to the love fests he throws for himself-aren't exactly known for their keen intellect and skeptical nature.

What? Where's the lie?

Am I a huge jerk for saying that? Sure I am. And is dismissing the President's supporters as a bunch of ignorant rubes part of the narrative he uses to unite them? Absolutely it is. So in a way we-that is the left-are partially to blame. I get that. But to be fair, they are supporting a racist, misogynistic goon who uses transparent lies and bluster to get whatever he wants and what he wants is often in direct opposition to the interests of the people who vote for him. So yeah, the thing is I'm not sure I'm wrong. They kinda are a bunch of ignorant rubes.

And when he suggests-without necessarily outright saying-that the coronavirus outbreak is at the same time a Democratic hoax (which it isn't), a disease resulting from immigration (which of course it's not), and not something to worry about, they believe him. What they hear from him is "I'm the only one who cares about you and your family." He isn't and he doesn't but that's how we got here.

This must be a tough time to be a Republican. On the one hand there's a Democratic virus out there,
so universal healthcare sounds like the only way to avoid loosing the election. On the other hand, most
Republicans would rather die than see their tax dollars go towards helping others. Quite a bind they're in...