Monday, March 19, 2018

Nobody cares what Phillip Hamilton thinks...

No, different Philip Hamilton. The one
we're going to talk about is kind of a dick.
Say, you know what's some bullshit? This. If you didn't click, and let's be real here, you didn't click, I'll explain. A newspaper, ok, the newspaper in Olton, Texas runs, as many newspapers do, obituaries. And last month, when a woman called Brenda Light died, her family sent in her obituary so that the paper could, you know, print it. What they didn't expect was that the paper's owner and local Baptist minister (that'll come in handy later) Phillip Hamilton would edit it . Because Jesus. Yeah, Light's son sent this: "Those left to cherish her memories include her son, Barry Giles, and his husband, John Gambol of Dallas." Now guess which part Phillip Hamilton took it upon himself to cut? 

If you said the reference to Giles' husband and partner of thirty-one years, you'd be correct. And Phillip Hamilton would be an asshole. I mean, lookit this:
"What? I said those left 'include her son.' I didn't
say he wasn't a godless sodomonite..."

-Noted garbage person,
Phillip Hamilton
"Oh don't you go dragging me into this.
You made your own bed dirtbag..."

-Hamilton's surprisingly 
salty conscience
Hamilton, when asked whatthefuck? replied:

"It is my religious conviction that a male cannot have a husband. It is also my belief that to publish anything contrary to God's Word on this issue would be to publish something in the newspaper that is not true...The newspapers decision to edit the obituary is both ethical and lawful...I could not in good conscience identify Mr. Gambill as the husband of Mr. Giles."

-Phillip Hamilton, 
apparently unclear on
the definition of 'ethical'

Sorry, this kind of stuff just pisses me
 off. Not all of you have stupid accents...
just the jerks. Huh? I know it's the same
acce-look, I'm trying to meet you halfway.
And this is where all those religious protection acts fall to shit. I mean, nobody wants anyone to have to risk eternal damnation for say, baking a gay wedding cake or working on a gay car (remember that guy?), but if you're going to run a business in the world, you're going to have to be prepared for customers whose lives don't line up with your personal belief system. This is America, you can't refuse service because you don't like someone's sexual orientation any more than you can refuse service on the basis or race or because you don't like their stupid Texas accent. 

"Look, I guess this all boils down to don't be 
jerks to one another. Think you can handle that?"
-Jesus, apparently asking too much
Leaving aside whether this was 'ethical' (it's not) or 'lawful' (who knows? I mean, Texas...) Brenda Light's family didn't pay Phillip Hamilton's paper to publish whatever he wants in accordance with his own religious worldview, they paid him to memorialize her. Which he didn't do. And then he laid out some horseshit about how her grieving son's husband isn't really his husband. They don't go to his church, this wasn't a tithe. This is business and you don't get to have it both ways. Either you're a baptist minister or you're a newspaper. You're a business or you're not.

I guess what I'm getting at is that if you're so rabid-foam crazy about Leviticus that you can't keep your hands off someone's mom's obit, maybe you're in the wrong line of work. 
"Ok everybody, if you'll turn to page three of your copy of the Olton
Enterprise, you'll see an editorial, written by me, about how Jesus
wants you to vote for Debbie Long, Republican for County Clerk."

-Phillip Hamilton, noted newspaper
publisher and mouthpiece of the almighty

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