|Like, they'll bring it to your door. |
You don't even have to get up.
Is it the super-low door-busting savings? Because something tells me that we're not smarter than the marketing strategy. Like, businesses are in the business of making money, so it's not like they're doing you a solid by setting up a retail cage match and letting idiots battle each other for the last flatscreen.
|Pictured: Just some of the savvy shoppers who took advantage of today's big sales. Yup, they made |
the smart move by shopping today and not say, any other day of the year (not pictured: dignity).
|Lots. I asked that rhetorically, but|
for real, there's lots wrong with us.
|What kind of a country do we |
live in where you can't even get paid
for video of the mall fight you staged?
"If you're with a news agency don't tweet me until your ready to send some money"
-@DaddyWeaknd, noted filmmaker
and argument for childlessness
|Above: video of a man being escorted-|
hey, side note? Can we all agree to stop
holding our iPhones the wrong way?*
All this because we got suckered into this fiction that we're missing out on some essential American experience if we're not trampling one another at goddamn Best Buy and that just makes my face sad.
|Pictured: Americans acting out our yearly pageant of crass consumerism, greed|
and-hey, are those teddy bears humping? Ok, that makes me feel a little better.
*Today in Side Notes...
Seriously, do some people just not understand that they can hold their phones sideways while taking video? Like, look at this example below of two idiots beating each other in front of Forever 21. Notice anything vertically oriented about it? Exactly. Our eyes are widescreen, so please, for the love of God, hold your phone correctly while taking video of the ridiculous bullshit that's happening all around us.
|Brought to you by Skinny-Vision®|
"You're just doing it wrong..."
† This one might have been a hoax too, which I suppose is a good thing, right?