|Technically he's an Independent|
with Democratic-curious leanings...
|It turns out that over|
100 million readers can
be wrong. Very wrong.
-Bernie Sanders, underestimating the
power of shitty fiction writing
You know, I'm not sure that the quality of Bernie Sanders' prose is what has people upset, but hey, we've all written things that weren't great. Of course, very few of us had the shit we wrote turned into the 3rd highest grossing film of the year, but hey, there's no accounting for taste, right?
Look, I like Bernie Sanders, I do. He wants to institute universal healthcare and make college free. Like we're freaking Norway or something.
|Pictured: Norwegian College students. You can tell they're Norwegian because the|
hope hasn't been driven from their souls by the crushing realization that they'll be
spending the rest of their lives paying off the insurmountable debt they've accrued.
|Put one of these next to your fondue|
pot and you've got a 70's party.
|Wait, like the Fifa scandal? I forget, do |
we or do we not give a shit about soccer?
"What I'm focusing on right now are the issues impacting the American people today and that is what I'll continue to focus on and what I think the American people want to hear."
-Bernie Sanders using impact as a verb,
it's not enough to cost him my vote, but it's close
I mean, has he met the American people? We love politics and sex, and sex-politics. If Bernie Sanders could find some way to harness our fascination with smut and use it to get us talking about important issues, he might just have a shot at being our next President.
|Like, if he could come up with an essay about income inequality that's also |
about Japanese bondage we'd have a $15 Federal minimum wage tomorrow.