Monday, November 25, 2013

Ach! Breaking up is hard tae dae...

"No please, don't go...we totally love your 
contribution to the UK's music scene..."
Hey, are Scotland and England calling it off? Lookit this. Scotland will be holding a referendum next September on whether or not to become an independent country. Why the hell would they want to do such a thing? Some feel that an independent Scotland would be better of economically, have full representation in the EU and according to Doctor Who, they'll even get their own starship. Critics argue that Scotland isn't as economically viable as they think and that no one can even understand what they're saying most of the time, and you know what? They can keep their stupid bagpipes.

If you're anything like me, your understanding of Scotland is pieced together from Scrooge McDuck, Scotty from Star Trek and that movie Braveheart by noted racist and homophobe Mel Gibson, so bear with me as I lay down some hastily researched, wikipedia-based history.
Of course if Ducktales is as accurate as I think it is, Scotland can
rely on globe trotting billionaire ducks to shore up their economy.
Above: hot merging action.
Scotland and England had sort of a love hate thing for hundreds of years before finally going steady in 1603 when Queen Elizabeth died and her cousin James the VI of Scotland became James the I of England. Yeah, that's right, his cousin died and he got an entire country because monarchy is ridiculous. Anyway, since nothing about history is ever simple, England and Scotland remained two separate countries until the 1707 Acts of Union when they finally stopped acting all coy and changed their status to 'politically unified.' I guess England and Scotland had an open relationship or something because at some point Wales joined in, then Ireland for a little while and then just North Ireland, and that's cool. I mean, I'm not judging.

Of course they were also fighting to
own people, so seriously, screw them.
But when you have to throw in another country or two just to spice things up, it can be a sign of a deeper problem. Look, I know that things change, and sometimes a devolved parliament just isn't enough to make things right. Don't get me wrong, we're all really hoping they work things out, but if they don't at least they'll know they tried. Besides, 300 years is a pretty good run and you have to admire how civilized the whole thing is. I mean a referendum? We fought a war last time part of our country wanted to split-up.

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