Sunday, September 22, 2013

Wearing a cape doesn't make you Batman.

Hey look everybody, NRA spokesloon Wayne LaPierre solved the problem of gun-related violence this morning on Meet the Press. The plan:
Say it with me now: more fucking guns!
Yup, in the wake of yet another mass shooting (the one at the Naval Yard in Washington, not Friday's shooting in Chicago, one at a time please) he had this to say:

When will people come to see the wisdom
that lay beneath that stately comb-over?
"...in a post 9-11 world, a naval base within miles from [sic] Congress, the White House, seven miles from here, largely left unprotected a terrorist target, a high-value terrorist target, completely unprotected, that can't stand. The NRA is calling today for layers of security around our military bases and the other thing we need to look at letting the men and women that know firearms and are trained in them do what they do best which is protect and survive."

-Wayne LaPierre

Yeah, we won't be image searching
that one. Here're some kittens instead.
That's right U.S. Military, the NRA is demanding more security, so get on that. You guys really dropped the ball on this one. I suppose hindsight like that is why the NRA keeps trotting Wayne out every time there's a mass shooting. So, um, why are we even looking to the NRA for a statement? I mean, isn't that a little like turning to NAMBLA whenever a pedophile gets busted? Of course their answer to gun violence is more guns, their entire existence as an organization is centered around convincing more people to pack heat.

When you find yourself agreeing with
Ted Nugent, it's time to reevaluate.
So you might recognize this as LaPierre's 'good guys with guns will stop the bad guys with guns' argument again, which is the same one he made after the Sandyhook massacre, and again after the Boston Marathon bombings. It's also basically the same idea Ted Nugent harped on after Aurora: more people with guns equals more people ready to spring into action and take down a crazed gunman. I don't know, I'd have thought that more guns would just mean an increased likelihood of people getting shot, but then I'm not so great with math.

I am however good at comparing real life issues to Batman and it takes more than a cape to make you Batman.
It takes an awesome costume, billions of dollars, a sweet car, a loyal butler,
and a tragic family backstory which, incidentally, involves a lunatic with a gun.
30% of police academy candidates
wash out during the sound effects exam.

What I mean by that is that just because someone has a gun and the training to operate it doesn't make them qualified to fight crime. That's why we have police, and their training is a little more extensive than shoot the bad guy. They have things like procedure and back-up and they wear badges so people know that they're not just a bunch of gun-toting weirdos.

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