|If it's presented in Powerpoint it must be real!|
|Above: The grim future that awaits us all.|
Thanks Obama, thanks for nothing.
But that didn't stop Georgia State Majority Leader Chip Rodgers (might be a porn name, we just can't be sure) from taking it seriously enough to call a meeting of the state GOP to watch his Powerpoint about it. At the heart of paranoia is the U.N.'s Agenda 21: a non-binding, voluntary plan designed to combat poverty, preserve the environment and you know, strengthen the role of women that sort of thing...you know, if people feel like it. No pressure, this is, after all, the U.N.
Smelling the stink of cooperation and responsible stewardship of the planet, conservatives have latched on to Agenda 21 as some kind of liberal conspiracy designed to steal all their shinies and usher in a new age of crystal healing, free love and pachouli. Even noted moon colonist and man-whore Newt Gingrich bought a seat on this particular crazy train.
|"Free love? Pssch, what are you, socialist? Real men pay someone for that."|
-Newt Gingr-what? He probably hires hookers.
Is it any nuttier than a global conspiracy theory?
|And The Lord said: "Yea, thou shalt lead thy |
people into the land of Old Navy and
Cheesecake factories." -Exodus 1:13
I don't know, maybe I'm a victim of the U.N.'s secret mind-control program, but a shining utopia of global cooperation and hover cars (because there would be hover cars) sounds pretty sweet. So like if anyone from the lizard-controlled shadow government is reading this, drop me a line. I'll gladly join your cold-blooded conspiracy in exchange for a place on the 'don't eat' list.
|Above: the secret cabal of Lizard people who rule the planet.|
Bet you wish you voted for Mitt Romney...