Happy Saint Pedantic's Day!

Above: Saint Patrick not wearing
green-wait, you can't see me right?

Yes I know it's Saint Patrick's Day and yes, I know I'm wearing blue. Huh? Oh, right, you can't actually see me. Well it is and I am and you know what? I don't care. I realize that on Saint Patrick's Day we're all supposed to be a little Irish, and a lot drunk but that's like super offensive. As an Irish-American, I take great offense at-Yes, I know I've already said that I'm half Canadian, I'm also half Irish. Half on both sides, so two halves-wait, two quarters. Yes, I'm two quarters Irish and one of those quarters is also Canadian. So really I'm Iri-nadian American and not so great at math with is a negative stereotype about Iri-nadian Americans and while it fits in my case, I am nevertheless very disappointed that you would bring it up. Shame!

Pictured: that time the Irish rebels mis-
judged their chances against the British.

While it's true that my choice of wardrobe today had nothing to do with celebrating Saint Patrick driving snakes out of Ireland (which is, incidentally, bullshit), it is technically the correct color for today. And who doesn't like being technically correct? Jerks, that's who. Anyway, ever hear of Saint Patrick's blue? It's an actual shade of blue named after Saint Patrick of snake murder fame and was associated with him and by extension Ireland until the 1798 Irish Rebellion when the Irish looked around at all those pasty, powdered wig wearing Brits and said, 'hey, I think we can take's.' Which, turned out they couldn't.

The rebels used-wait, what? How dare I? It's ok, I'm English too. I'm allowed to call us pasty. Really I'm whatever is most convenient at the time. Like I was saying, the rebels adopted the clover as their symbol. Clovers, like Ireland, are green so that's why everyone wears green on Saint Patrick's Day. Unless of course you forgot, grabbed a blue shirt and then dug up some pedantic, internet-research to justify it.

Another non-booze related Saint Patrick's day tradition is the shamrock shake.
It's green and tastes like a combination of mint and centuries of oppression.