Today in people who should consider bunkers:

I guess what I'm saying is if your worldview compels you to call in a bomb threat, then there's something wrong with your worldview and you should probably move to some remote prepper bunker in the wilderness and leave the rest of us alone.

Hey, look, some of them are kind of nice! You can just sit in there, eating
MRE's and watching TV. Safe from AOC and pronouns and whatever the
hell else has got you so terrified you can't just act like a person.

Terrorism is like, so easy now.

I say this because The King's English Bookshop in Salt Lake City had to remain closed on Sunday because of two separate bomb threats. The entire block was cordoned off and K-9 units were called in to investigate and of course there was no bomb. After all, why bother planting an actual bomb when an anonymous phone call will do all the heavy lifting for you? You don't even have to get off the couch. Ok, but who and why? Well, the who is, as yet, a mystery, as to the why, take a guess.

If you said it's because there was a drag storytime event with a local drag queen, you would be correct! Also, did you already read about this? Because that's cheating. Tara Lipsynki, a SLC area drag queen and comic, had been hosting story time at the store for months, but for whatever reason someone, somewhere, evidently felt threatened by this and decided to pay it forward by pretending there was a bomb. 

The Shire called, they'd like their bookstore back.

"Say, that is sus..."

-some kid

I say evidently because the callers didn't specify that they were trying to disrupt story time specifically, but I mean, c'mon. Also, the store's owner noticed a weird pattern of ticket sales (ticket proceeds benefit a local non-profit that encourages kids to read), that is, six people bought all thirty tickets and three of those six people were regulars while the others are a mystery. It's just a little, as the kids say, sus, and I don't think anyone's jumping to unreasonable conclusions when connecting the event with the threat. In fact, I daresay we can infer some things about the caller.

Above: literally the only emotion felt
by half the country right now.

Forgive me if I'm generalizing here, but something tells me the caller or callers don't like drag queens and queer culture in general. They probably cite religious beliefs as the reason why, but can't really point to a scriptural basis. They self-identify as middle of the road or maybe lean conservative but would be, by any objective measure hard right. They almost certainly own more flags and flag-themed clothing/accessories than you or I. Oh, and they're upset about "wokeness" but can't actually define it. In fact, they're upset about a lot of things.

Whoever this anti-queer, paranoid, Trumpy, quasi-religious, conspiracy obsessed goon--or goons--is--or are--they did this out of fear. Baseless fear, inflamed by the cynical fear-mongering of a political faction so out of ideas that all they have left is this wild flailing and scapegoating. It's book-bans and bomb threats and bathroom bills all the way down and we can only hope they'll snap out of it someday.

Pictured: Store owner Calvin Crosby and Tara Lipsyncki,
seen here threatening America with child literacy.