Confession Time

Have I mentioned that the pandemic might actually be my fault? Yeah, move over Chinese lab/Hillary Clinton/microchip theories. Turns out, it was me. 

Right, sure, gradual mutations and recombinations of viral RNA
over successive generations. Pfftt...might as well say elves did it.

Pictured: the look on the face of everyone
who's ever had to sit through someone
else evangelizing a TV show at them.

So you know how people will sometimes try and get you to watch some TV show they're into? It usually starts out with "Oh, you haven't seen Whatever?" and then it's "I'm usually not into Whatever's genre, but..." and then lands on "I don't want to ruin it, but you've got to watch Whatever, I'm on the fourth season. Three is a little slow, but once you get past episode nine it really picks up." These conversations are the worst. Anyway, while trying to feign interest in one of these, I might have jinxed it. The course of human civilization I mean. 

And for the record, no amount of
lockdown will make me rewatch
the Snyder cut in black and white.

I said something like, "You know there's so much good TV on streaming services right now. It'd be really great if there was some kind of crisis and we could all just take a year off and catch up." And there was. And we have been. And I mean, I didn't intend to invite a pandemic, I just wanted out of the conversation. Sure, there probably is some of stuff I'd been meaning to get caught up on, but in hindsight, all of this probably hasn't been worth it (ok, definetly hasn't been worth it). 

Pictured: the idiots whose thoughts
actually did have a causal relationship to
 prolonging the pandemic. So thanks...

Although in my defense, I don't think I specified "global pandemic." It could have just as easily been nuclear winter or asteroid impact. Also I definitely didn't wish for the last administration's inept response, nor did I suggest a year of selfish goons refusing to put on a mask. And I get that the idea that thoughts can have a causal effect on things that are absolutely out of our control is magical thinking. Strictly speaking, my dumb comment to get someone to stop telling me to watch Superstore didn't really cause COVID-19. Still though.

As insane as it sounds, there's a part of me that can't help but think this is my fault. Which is weird because because it never works for good things. Like, that time I read the first Game of Thrones book, and said to anyone that would listen that it would make a totally good TV show and it should be on HBO so they could keep all the sex. And then it happened. Of course, now that I think about it, maybe I should feel bad about that one too.

I mean, you saw how it ended. That's right, ragging
on the Game of Thrones ending. Get me, so topical!