Thursday, March 11, 2021

Today in solutions to non-existent problems:

Pictured: Arizonans voting.
Not pictured: any widespread
voter fraud at all. Like, at all.
"There's a fundamental difference between Democrats and Republicans. Democrats value as many people as possible voting, and they're willing to risk fraud. Republicans are more concerned about fraud, so we don't mind putting security measures in that won't let everybody vote--but everybody shouldn't be voting."

-Arizona State Senator John Kavanagh
an actual elected official from whose mouth
that dumbassery actually slipped

Is is that Republicans
love racist children's books?
Holy shit. I mean, holy shit, right? That's from one of the state legislators in Arizona where they just passed another bill in an effort to address all the voter fraud. What voter fraud, you might reasonably ask? That's an excellent question and one that deserves an answer. And evidence. But here we are, still talking about it, and here they are passing sweeping new restrictive voting laws that will disenfranchise millions of Americans. He's right though, there is a fundamental difference between Democrats and Republicans. 

What...was it something I said?
That being that Republicans are actively and aggressively trying to make it harder for people to vote and Democrats are, you know, not. Sure, it's possible that someone could commit voter fraud. It's super rare, but not impossible, so why are they going nuclear on it? The financial industry is rife with fraud and criminality, but no Republican in the history of republican-ing has ever tried to pass laws making it harder to participate in the stock market. So why aren't they out there trying to lock that down?

Sorry, I'm being unfair.
He played a lot of golf too.
Hey, you don't suppose this isn't about election integrity at all and instead about an existential dread the Republican Party is feeling after Trump was voted out, do you? Like, maybe they, for some reason, can't understand why the American people wanted him gone just because he was a grossly incompetent racist, whose undersized, leathery mitts are stained with the blood of thousands who died needlessly due to his mishandling of a national crisis? 

But that's how democracy works. The response to a loss should be to reevaluate where your party might have gone wrong, and adjust your platform. It shouldn't be to just pass a bunch of shitty laws designed to keep yourself in power.
"We thought about doing that, but at this point the party platform
rests entirely on xenophobia and white persecution complexes,
so it's just easier to not count votes that aren't for us."
-John Kavanagh, on the GOP's strategy 
"Democr-they probably meant to check
Republican. Hand me a pen, would you?"
-how voting doesn't work
Kavanagh went on to suggest that:

"Not everybody wants to vote, and if somebody is uninterested in voting, that probably means that they're totally uninformed on the issues. Quantity is important, but we have to look at the equality of the votes as well."

-Senator Kavanagh, just
leaning in to the fascism

So I have some questions. First, if someone doesn't want to vote, they can, you know, just not vote. You don't actually need to make it harder for them to do so. Also, that's kind of a huge leap to assume that interest is tied to being informed. And what constitutes an informed voter? Who gets to decide that? Is there a test? Written? Oral? Some kind of American Gladiators-like competition? 
I'm not trying to be a jerk, but Kavanagh's like 70, 
so he might want to rethink his suggestion.

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