Today in ground penetrating disappointment:

Science, the discipline famous for crushing our hopes and dreams under its ponderous and stubborn insistence on facts and evidence has, claimed another victim: Queen Nefertiti.

"Why? Because he hate joy, that's why."

-Scientists

Ancient Egyptians were very advanced and
were among the first to discover that people
on vacation make poor buying decisions.

Ok, sort of. Scientists announced on Saturday that the recently identified room beyond Tutankamun's tomb is, in stark contrast to the parkour and murder simulator Assasin's Creed: Origins, not filled with treasure but instead, disappointment. Well, that's not entirely true. It's not filled with anything. Archeologists had hoped the void might be Queen Nefertiti's burial chamber or something equally likely to rain down curses on those who desecrate it, like the Valley of the Kings' Gift Shop. But now they're saying it's just a ghost image picked up by ground penetrating radar.

"Well, we Eqyptologists have a saying:
if at first you don't succeed give up right
away. I mean, why waste your time?"

Back in 2015 a scan showed a void, but a second scan in 2016 couldn't find it so this last February they tried again. According to National Geographic, they came up empty and now the researchers are calling it a bust:

"We conclude, with a very high level of confidence, that the hypothesis concerning the existence of hidden chambers adjacent [to] Tutankhamen tomb is not supported by the GPR data."

-Quitters

"Shit, this thing is USB 3? Anyone got a
Lighting adapter? No? So much for that..."

Which, ok, great, all signs point to there being no chamber full of dead Queens or treasure or un-lockable achievements and power-ups. But again, all signs are two out of three. Since when is archeology based on rock-paper-scissors rules? Like, thirty three percent of ground penetrating radar scans did seem to indicate a bonus level in King Tut's tomb, so is it really time to dust off our hands and call it a day? Is the ground penetrating radar equipment really that hard to set up or something? Like, why was it a year between scans anyway?

Well if there is something back there, I suppose we may never know. But on the bright side, given the problematic history of rooting around in the burial grounds of ancient people, an undiscovered tomb is an un-desecrated tomb.

"And over there is where I paid a local work crew a laughably small 
 wage to take pickaxes to millennia-old tomb walls so that I could cart
away precious pieces of your country's cultural heritage. Cigar?"

-Howard Carter, noted tomb raider