Monday, May 19, 2014

Because Texas

Pictured: Assholes.
Look out gun nuts, Chipotle has just joined the list of things you should be irrationally angry about. The fast food chain released a statement today asking that their customers please be so kind as to not bring guns into their restaurants. Because that's a thing people do. Bring guns. To Chipotle. How come? People can be assholes that's how come. These guys (right) are from Open Carry Tarrant County, a pro gun advocacy group who, I shit you not, love their goddamn guns so much that they insist on bringing them into fast food restaurants.

Why would they do such a thing? To raise awareness, of course. Of guns. In Texas. I mean, even for the state that gave us Rick Perry, this is batty, right? It's even too insane for Open Carry Tarrant County's parent organization, Open Carry Texas, who've distanced themselves from OC Tarrant County for being too fringy.
Because Texas.
"Ok, table for four, 8 o'clock. Would you
prefer the patio or the sniper's perch?"
Their issue wasn't so much that the Tarrant County guys were bringing guns into restaurants, it was that they didn't call ahead.

"We don't go there just to carry guns into a restaurant, we always let the manager know we're coming."

-Open Carry Texas Founder C.J. Grisham,
advocate for responsible brandishing

Yeah, so that's OC Texas trying to cling to some semblance of respectability by asking that its members please try and make an effort not to look like a coup d'etat. Is that really so much to ask? Sure is. Here's OC Tarrant County Coordinator Kory Watkins rebuttal: "We don't ask permission or call anybody. We're trying to make this as normal as possible..."
You see, there's normal and then there's Texas Normal.
"I said guac on the side.
Guac on the side!"
Look, I'm not arguing against gun-owners and their Jesus-given right to arm themselves to the teeth in the privacy of their own rapture-shelter, but seriously, why do they think it's necessary to freak the rest of us out? I know open-carrying is legal in Texas, but there will never come a day when standing next to someone who holds in their hands the power to end you and everyone else in line at Chipotle isn't totally fucked up.

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