|"Sweetie, its ok, not everyone is cut out to rule 1st century Rome.|
But hey, it's March 16th, we're alive...let's go out for fro-yo!"
|Oh c'mon, like any of us haven't thought|
about conquering France at least once.
|Above: Emperor Chunk performing a|
victory shuffle on the White House lawn.
-it also got him assassinated by like the entire senate. You've got to be a pretty tremendous dickhole to get yourself shanked to death by like 60 of your friends, coworkers and possibly even your own son. Sure, we'll never be famous, but at least we've got a decent chance of going peacefully in our sleep, well-liked and un-stabbed. Advantage: us.
|"Wha-what'd I do? I'm mean other than challenge the|
unchecked authority of the wealthy ruling elite-oh...."
|Above: The cause of many, many an|
argument before IMDB was a thing.
*No, really, there wasn't. Sorry to disappoint you. A lot of people seem to vaguely remember a sequel, but they're thinking of the NES game called The Goonies 2 which was the sequel to a Japan-only game based on The Goonies. Confused? Understandable. Oh, and get this: The Goonies 2 (the game) had a mermaid in it. A mermaid. Anyway, the game has convinced a lot of people that there was a sequel to The Goonies and some will even swear that they've seen it. This is false and a result of the human capacity for self-deception. Also, the game kind of sucked.