|Wall-E: Adorable children's movie, |
or chilling vision of things to come?
|These dofus's (dofi?) have just out |
done anything you have or ever will
First, let us consider the premise: it's a onesie for adults. A couple of geniuses from Milwaukee named Dave Hilber and Tyler Galganski thought to themselves: "Hey, you know what I miss? Infancy." And no, I am not being sarcastic when I call them geniuses. They're the Marks Zuckerberg of the shapeless people warmer industry and it is they who shall feast upon the rotting corpse of America's self-respect. What? To harsh? They just made 100 billion dollars (an approximate estimate) while you were reading this.
|In the 50's, hatlessness|
was a capital offense.
At first glance it's one of those so-stupid-why-didn't-I-think-of-it inventions like the snuggie (spoiler alert: it's a backwards robe), or penicillin. But the more I think about it the more I realize that these guys are on the cutting edge of people not trying anymore. They have correctly predicted the next rung on the devolutionary ladder of not giving a shit about one's appearance. In the 1950's it was suit, tie and hat. By 1975 the suit had given way to the leisure suit. By the 2000's pajama bottoms became acceptable casual wear. Dyler Hilbanski (for they are now one) have seen the future and it is flame resistant baggy unitards in four stylish colors (including grey!).
|Get used to this.|
But wait, there's more! If you order now (And I mean right now, don't you waste another god damn minute) you get free matching footsies and a neck pillow. That's right, thanks to Forever Lazy, you no longer have to support your own head weight. Now, that's luxury. Of course, over time this will leave us limp necked and vulnerable to ape uprising, but hey, there are worse ways to go.
The only real flaw I can see is that they didn't take the idea far enough. You see abject laziness and comfort are great and all, but people still have to expel waste. What a pain. To take the edge off, the designers included (and I am quoting from the website): "...Zippered Hatches in Front and Back for Great Escapes When Duty Calls." What the hell does that mean? I'll tell you:
|"Now Doctor Kynes, tell me more|
about these fecal pouches."
Dune, Act I sc. III