Today in what Ancient Rome smelled like:

Say, did you know that ancient Roman perfume smelled like patchouli? Yeah, the people who conquered the Mediterranean world apparently all smelled like a bunch of hippies.

Pictured: a scene from the now surprising accurate
Mel Brooks's History of the World Part I.

Above: the entire field of ancient world
perfume researchers, seen here, celebrating.

Of course, this is archeology, so let's walk that back a bit. All Romans didn't smell like patchouli. But scientists did analyze an old perfume bottle from a Roman grave using gas chromatography and, well, patchouli. According to the paper in which these findings were published, this is the first time ever that a perfume from Ancient Rome was identified. "Which is a major advance in this field." It adds, as if to assure us that this really is a big deal.

Bribery and malfeasance? In the
oil industry? Poppycock I say!

And it is a big deal, right? So much of my public school history education seemed to focus an awful lot on wars. And the Teapot Dome Scandal, but mostly war. This war was followed by this war, and that brings us to this war. And in fairness, ours is a violent species, but historically, people did other things as well, right? As mentioned before, not all Romans used this perfume, and in fact, perfume was reserved for the wealthy, but still, it's kind of cool to imagine what the ancient world smelled like, isn't it? 

No? Just me. Me and those three scientists above? Ok, fine. But you have to admit, the mind reels at the possibilities of what our civilization might leave behind and what conclusions future archeologists might draw. I for one shiver at the prospect that some wayward can of Axe body spray might one day be the only clue as to life in the twenty-first century.

Pictured: Some examples of the spray-tanned douches that
once roamed North America. (source: future history books)