I have many questions. About Alaska.

Pictured: definitely not milk.

To anyone who rejects the idea that we, America that is, aren't failing children on every conceivable level, I submit to you this story about some students in Alaska who were served floor sealant instead of milk. Kids at an elementary school near Juneau, Alaska were given the sealant at breakfast and while everyone's ok, some of the kids had to go to the hospital and I have so many questions. So many, but perhaps some context is in order--wait, no, that's not right. Context suggests that there are circumstances that might make it somehow understandable that a grown ass adult might somehow mistaken floor sealant for milk, but I mean, one is a sealant for floors and the other is, you know, milk. Look, I'm not a contractor, or a handy-person. I don't know if I could ID a floor sealant right off the bat, but I'm pretty confident that I could identify it as not milk. 

Sure, they both come in gallon jugs and admittedly the jug of Hillyward Seal 341 does bear a passing resemblance to a milk jug. Also, both jugs are white, and the sealant itself is white and milky. Ok, honest mistake, right?

On the other hand, plastic milk jugs traditionally have labels with words
like "Milk," "2%" and "An excellent source of calcium"written on them
instead of things like "Sealant," "Poison" and "Call physician if ingested."

Speaking of too far, Alaska. Amirght?

Well, let's get back to my many, many questions. For one, what is floor sealant doing being stored anywhere near the milk? Was it in the fridge? And if so, was it doing in the fridge? Does floor sealant need to be refrigerated? And if it wasn't in the fridge, why did the person serving breakfast to these kids grab unrefrigerated jugs assuming that it was milk? Who is this person? How did they get this job? Don't they screen people? Why are these people living in Alaska in the first place? Sorry, that might be too far.

Are they thought? Rooted in
safety? Because floor sealant. 

As it happens these weren't school officials, but an outside contractor called NANA Management Services whom the district uses to run the school's breakfast program. The NMS site says that they specialize in food service and safety, which, I mean, not poisoning children seems like food service one oh one, but here we are. Like, what I want to know is did they bring floor sealant to the school or just find it there? Are they in the habit of serving whatever mystery jugs, refrigerated or not, that happen to be lying about? Again, questions!

Look, I'm a childless shut-in and don't live in Alaska, so I have like, no stake in this, but they seriously can't scrape together enough money to fund schools so that they don't have to turn to independent contractors who can't even manage breakfast? Doesn't Alaska pay people like sixteen hundred dollars a year just to live there? Because what if instead of doing that, they just hired more cafeteria staff? Staff who can tell milk from floor sealant. 

On the other hand, Sarah Palin is back so Alaska, as
a state, doesn't always make the best decisions.