Ken Burns called, he'd like his haircut back.

Oh shit, they've got nothing. Like, nothing. Republicans I mean. Well, ok, they control a bunch of state legislatures and are leveraging that to pass a bunch of laws to make it extra hard for people to vote in areas that don't lean GOP, but what I'm saying is they've got nothing when it comes to reasons D.C. shouldn't be a state. 

Pictured: Some magician, seen here holding
the GOP argument against D.C. statehood.

Tell you what, let's just skip this whole
Congress thing and go full yard sign.

Congress held hearings today in which both sides of the D.C. Statehood debate laid out their arguments for and against. The Pro-statehood side points out that the District of Columbia has a population larger than several states and is full of Americans who should, you know, be represented in Congress. The Con-statehood side argued today that residents of D.C. can put bumper stickers on their cars and signs in their lawns and congresspeople will see those and that's just as good as representation. Better even. 

Pictured: Zach Smith on C-SPAN,
looking exactly like you'd picture him.

"The Framers also wanted to avoid one state having influence over the Federal Government. There's not question that D.C. residents already impact the national debate. For the members here today, how many of you saw a D.C. Statehood yard sign or bumper sticker or banner on your way to this hearing today?"

-Zach Smith, of The Heritage Foundation, 

seen here using impact as a verb

And not for nothing, but clearly the yard
signs aren't doing much as D.C. still isn't
a state. So what else you got Zach?

Yeah, but the Framers also didn't intend for Mitch McConnell to steal two Supreme Court seats or for a sitting President to incite a bunch of armed goons to storm, and then shit in the halls of, the U.S. Capitol Building. And I don't know, but I feel like we could argue that sparsely populated states, like say, the Republican stronghold of Wyoming having the same number of Senators as California or New York is itself undue influence over the Federal Government. And representatives being beholden to constituents and yard-sign-seeing aren't the same thing. Also, should we be listening to a guy with a haircut that dumb?

Both sides are to blame in the sense that
Republicans are guilty of bullying, while
Democrats are guilty of not turning around
and punching the GOP in their bully faces.

So you can see where I'm coming up with "They've got nothing." Anyway, there's like zero percent chance this happens. Zero. Even thought something like 86% of D.C. residents are in favor of it, it's not going to happen. And it's not even a question of it being fair or the right thing to do, or even a possible thing to do. Instead, it's because Republicans. And Democrats, but mainly Republicans. But both sides are to blame. Republicans don't want D.C. to be a state because it will add two more seats to the Senate that will almost certainly be held by Democrats and Republicans hate democracy.

In the same way that their push for strict voter restrictions after their 2020 loses has nothing to do with preventing the ones of cases of voter fraud every year and everything to do with keeping Democratic-leaning voters, a lot of whom are people of color, which I'm sure has absolutely nothing at all to do with it, from voting. 

Although they do love those Confederate flags...wait, you don't
suppose this has been about race this whole time, do you?