It's what the kids would call "sus."

Hey, did you see this thing about the former Israeli space ministry official saying that not only are aliens real and routinely visit Earth, but that government officials from the U.S. and Isreal have had contact with the Galactic Federation for years? I know, incredible, right? I didn't realize Israel had a space program either. 

All this time I always thought it was just NASA, Russia, and rich people.

We, as a species, must look to an advanced
civilization like a planet full of babies who vape.

Oh, right, the Galactic Federation. So Haim Eshed, a retired general and former head of Israel's space security, gave an interview to The Jerusalem Post in which he mentions that an outer space government called the Galactic Federation that has been carrying out experiments here on Earth and on Mars as per an agreement they have with the U.S. Government. Part of that agreement of course is that their existence remain secret because humans can't handle the truth. Ouch, but they probably have a point.

"Sorry, I should have said spoiler alert."

Apparently the aliens have some equivalent of the Prime Directive and don't want to throw our world into chaos by revealing their presence prematurely, but so much for that I guess...

"The aliens have asked not to announce that they are here [because] humanity is not ready yet."

-Haim Eshed, doing the 

opposite of what the 

aliens asked him to 

Actually, that part sort of tracks, since
only a species capable of interstellar travel
would be able to keep Trump from Tweeting.

Now, I know what you're thinking: if the U.S. government knows about aliens, that means a certain ex-real estate developer/reality TV host/two-time popular vote loser Donald Trump must know about them and that guy has never in his nearly four years in office not tweeted every and any thought that's crossed his hydroxychlorquine-addled brain, no matter how paranoid, nonsensical or racist. And according to Eshed, Trump was indeed going to let the kilrathi out of the bag but fortunately the aliens stopped him in order to prevent "mass hysteria." 

Sound familiar? And we know how the administration loves avoiding "mass hysteria." You might recall how they downplayed the severity of the pandemic to avoid panic. 

Good job there...

Not to sound ungrateful, but the Cold War's
over. How are you with climate change?

And here's where my skepticism comes in. I know, here's where my skepticism comes in? But bear with me. According to Haim's new book--more on that in a sec--The Galactic Federation has been here for decades working with world leaders behind the scenes, running experiments to better understand "the fabric of the universe," and even taking a hand in human affairs to help us avoid nuclear war. All the while staying out of public view because they don't want to freak us out. But what's to freak out about? I mean, they sound awesome, so why all the secrecy? Beam on down and help us out already, unless, of course, this is all bullshit.

"Um...surprise?"

-The Galactic Federation

Look, I want to believe that the universe is full of benevolent aliens who have our best interests at heart, it's just that I find it a little, uh, what's the phrase? Rabid foam crazy? Not the aliens themselves, but the suggestion that there's a massive conspiracy involving dozens if not hundreds of officials from at least two different governments keeping a them under wraps for decades without one single person going public until this guy goes on his book tour. 

Yeah, interestingly enough, Haim's claims happen to coincide with the release of his book: The Universe Beyond the Horizon and it all seems a little, I think the word is sus. I mean, either Haim just blew open a decades-long conspiracy involving a revelation so world-shaking in its implications that it will fundamentally alter not only our lives but the very course of human history or he wanted to fluff sales of his new book.

Sure, book sales are important, but the History Channel with its
overly generous definition of "documentary" is where the real money is.