Right in my 8-bit Achilles heel...

Yes, this again. Like the previous post, this is going to get a little nerdy. Video game nerdy, so I'm not offended if you want to take a warp zone or fast travel out of here...no? See, those were video games references and-sorry. I'm better than that. Not much, but better than that. As I mentioned before, I'm a grown ass adult with one-ok, many-weakness(es). A weakness that video game manufacturers can, and do, exploit at will.

A super-obvious glowing vulnerable point?

I don't get it, am I just particularly motion
sensitive, or do people just love puking?

In this case, the weakness is nostalgia for video games from yesteryear, specifically the halcyon days of the 8 and 16-bit eras. It was a simpler time. No micro transactions or DLC, no laborious cutscenes that go on for ever and no nausea-inducing faux stedicam moments, Resident Evil 4, I'm looking at you. And while it seems at times that current gaming is like 90% free-to-play FPS nonsense and mobile games, there is also a renewed interest in retro gaming. 

...you know what? Don't worry about it.
I'll just code a new game from scratch. Huh?
No, I don't, but I'll learn. It'll be easier.

Sometimes this takes the form of retro-inspired games like Shovel Knight or The Messenger which are games in the style of classic games often with similar 2-D graphics, but without the migraine-inducing difficulty or password systems with super-long codes that require you to distinguish between a 0 and an O or else loose hours of progress. Huh...yes, evidently I am still bitter. Or sometimes retro gaming means just rereleases of previous games on current generation consoles, like the nine or ten times I've bought Final Fantasy IV. You'd think after a while I'd stop falling for this, but you'd be wrong. And the worst part is, I don't regret it. Because I am a chump. Anyway, a third type of retro game, is the re-make.

This category is often the most fraught with the possibility of failure. Take any of the Square Enix remakes where they took the gorgeous pixel art of the originals and replaced it with dead-eyed Hummel figurines. 

At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, the
graphical style they went with is a warcrime. 

We didn't have the phrase 'the feels'
back in 1993, but this game? The feels. 

So back to my weakness. Nintendo today announced a Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening remake. Did that sentence fill you with renewed purpose? No? Congratulations. You have perspective and a well balanced set of priorities. But I'll press on. The original was a Game Boy game from 1993 and was a sequel to A Link to the Past. For decades now, fans have debated which is the better of the two, but either way, they are objectively among the best games ever. And Link's Awakening might actually edge out the original with its emotional story and gut-punch ending. 

It wasn't perfect, the controls were kind of a chore what with the two-buttons and the Gameboy's small screen was kind of blurry. But I've got to imagine that the controls on the Switch will be better and the remake will be in HD with a new art style. It's sort of a tilt-shift diorama with characters that are-and this is not a phrase I throw around a lot: cute as a button. I'm in. So in. They know how to my exploit my weakness and I let them and keep coming back for more. They're insidious. 

Goddamnit, here, take my money.