Hope they put him on a seven second delay...

Yup, metaphor checks out.

Wow, I do not envy them this. What this? This this. Today the major news networks and whatever Fox is-news entertainment? Like the WWE of journalism. Anyway, the news networks all spent the day deliberating whether or not they were going to carry he President's Oval Office address tomorrow. It looks like they're all going to carry it, but not without a lot of soul searching (again, probably not Fox) and what I'm sure is bracing for the inevitable backlash.

I'm confused, is America great again?
'Cause it kind of seems like it's worse.

The former host of The Apprentice's speech will purportedly be about border security. I think we can safely say that the President is going to lay out what he sees as a legitimate threat to American security and then offer rational, well-thought out options for improving our southern border-nawww...just kidding. He's going to go in front of the cameras and froth at the mouth about how the Democrats won't give him his border wall and that's why federal workers are going unpaid and why the national parks are full of garbage.

The common wisdom here is that he's going to declare border security a national emergency and then claim that this gives him the authority to build his dumb racist wall he promised to dumb racists in exchange for their votes.

Pictured: the aforementioned dumb racists.
Huh? No, I don't think I'm being unfair. 

Remember when our President wasn't
a sociopath? That was the best.

Hence the soul-searching on the behalf of the media. News outlets are under no obligation to air a Presidential address and in fact, a lot is being made of the networks declining to air a 2014 address Barack Obama made on the subject of immigration, because they were afraid that it would be too political. Which makes today's acquiescence even more baffling. But then again, the likelihood of Obama pounding his fists on the podium and referring to latin America as a collection of shithole countries was exactly nil.

See, when a congresswoman says 'fuck' she's
being rude and disrespectful. When a rich white
guy says it he's just being folksy and relatable.

Which, I get it. If his Presidency wasn't literally killing people, disgracing America on the international stage and ruining the world forever, we could probably enjoy it as some kind of dark comedy. And you can see why the networks don't want to miss this. Any time Trump opens his big popular vote losing mouth, you know there's a decent chance he's going to say 'fuck' on TV or start talking about Hitler having had some good ideas. It's just always on the table with him and you do not want to be the President of the network that decided not to carry that speech.

I suppose the question is whether or not the xenophobic nonsense he's inevitably going to spout is going to be challenged or fact checked by the news outlets or if they're just giving America's favorite racist free airtime.

"What the President meant when he said Hitler had some great fucking ideas was, uh,
not that Hitler had great-look, I'm sick of you people twisting the President's words!"

-Press Secretary Huckabee-Sanders,

about 36 hours from now