Poperty Value

"Well, for the first time in the Church's two-thousand year history Allison and Stephen, the Pope is not only from the United States, but also a Chicagoan."

-Jenn Schanz, NBC 5 News, reminding 

us all why we love local news

Above: A medieval papal conclave, seen here once again passing
over the good people of Chicago just because the city didn't exist yet and
the Cardinals were unaware of the existence of North America. Shameful.

Sorry, pope who?

Local news loves finding a local connection to whatever the big story is. Loves it. And, to be fair, local boy makes Pope is a legitimate story. They're interviewing his brother, every school he ever attended is putting him in the brochure. I get it. It's news. The most interesting thing to happen here in Santa Cruz was back in December when part of the wharf collapsed and the bathroom washed up about a mile down the beach.

"And over here is the jacuzzi tub with built 
in jets and, it is said, the power to blindness"

I'm sure if instead of watching local infrastructure fall into Monterrey Bay, a Santa Cruzian was catapulted to the head of a major religion, it'd be a big deal here too. But did anyone stop to think about how this would affect his childhood home's Zestimate? Yeah, I thought not. For those unfamiliar, a Zestimate is what the website Zillow, and I presume some kind of real estate algorithm thinks your house is worth. And we learned recently that being the former address of God's infallible mouthpiece on Earth can bring a place real curb appeal.

This is a 826 square foot house for sale near
my apartment. 1.4 million dollars. Of money.

Two days ago, the three bedroom, one and a half bath house was $245,000. Today, it's off the market. There was about a three day window between when it went on the market and where a hundred and thirty-three celibate guys in robes voted Pope Bob in which you could have owned a piece of papal history, but alas. Good news for the owners I suppose. When they bought it last year, they only paid--if you live where I live, you'll want to sit down for this--$66,000 for the seven hundred and fifty square foot cape cod. 

Location, location, location! Unless
we're talking South Chicago Suburbs,
then it's all Pope, Pope, Pope.

So how much will this piece of Leo-nalia ultimately cost? The owners pulled it to consider their options. I guess if you just found out a famous grew up in your flip, you pump the breaks. After all, in the Middle Ages, pilgrims would travel hundreds of miles, sometimes thousands of miles to see a relic, and usually those were of questionable provenance. All these folks are doing is pulling their fixer-upped off the market to consider whether or not a little papal sur charge is in order. Shady? Ehh...maybe a little, but the couple is expecting a child, so maybe we can cut them some slack?

Still though, I hope whoever buys it bears in mind that the Pope is still just some guy, and that the house isn't magic.  

"Well, our must-haves are good schools, a walk-in closet in the
master bedroom, and plenary indulgence. Oh! And an open floor plan."

-someone, inevitably