Yes, it's exactly like getting E. coli.

Could we all just...I don't know, maybe not shop on Amazon? Or at the very least, if you're going to do it, maybe don't tell me? You know, the guy working at the bookstore? 

Pictured: Jeff Bezos, a man with a dream. A dream to undercut small, independent
booksellers, drive them out of business, and then consume the rest of American brick
and mortar retail until there's just one, giant, anticompetitive mega corporation. 

Super, I'm sure they need the business.

I work at a bookstore as I may or may not have mentioned before, and the other day I was helping a customer who as looking for a book. She didn't have a specific title in mind, just a topic. We didn't have one precisely fitting what she wanted, but I did a little digging and found one we could order for her in a couple days. Cool, right? No. She said: "forget it, I'll just go home and order it on Amazon." Then she went on to let me know that the shipping will be free, and they'll get it to her in just a couple of days.

Remember when Amazon just let their
drivers shit in bags? Because they do.

Which, couple of things. First. I actually know how Amazon works, but thanks. Secondly, a couple of days? That's like the same time frame I gave her. Admittedly, it's possible, nay, likely that the book would get to her faster coming from Amazon. Fine. And yes, I know the shipping is free, but I mean, at what cost? Do...do people not know that Amazon is bad? Yeah, we all love things delivered quickly and cheaply, but they're a terrible company and engage in shitty business practices.

I guess I just can't possibly fathom what would have made this person think that after I'd just done all the work of coming up with a title of a book for her, I'd want to hear how about she's going to go buy it on freaking Amazon, a company that's been doing it's level best to drive us and bookstores like us out of business for over twenty years. That's like...it's like...it's like this actually:

"Hmm...you know what? Just scratch the whole order. I'm going to go home and order
Chipotle from Uber Eats. It might give me E. coli, but they'll bring it right to my house so."

-Not my best analogy