Friday, September 23, 2022

Power Creep

Have you ever heard the phrase power creep? I think it comes from video games and refers to updates that increase the player's stats or powers and while it gives them a brief sense of superiority, it ultimately makes the game less fun. 
Hearthstone seems to be held up as an example of
power creep, but was it ever fun to begin with? 
Before Halle Berry's Toad line in X-Men, this
was the dumbest moment in comic book movies.
I've also heard it used in terms of comic books. Take Superman for example. When he started out, Supes (it's what the cool kids call him...the cool kids from 1930...) was more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap entire buildings in a single bound. Then over the years writers, faced with writing the genre's most iconic and boringest character added new abilities. Laser eyes, flight, that weird cellophane "S" he throws at Bull from Nightcourt. They just kept making shit up, which, sure, that's fiction for you, but still, let's be reasonable. 

Speaking of reasonable and people being not...uh, that, I feel like we would be remiss if we didn't at least mention the former, electoral college but not popular vote winner, turned President turned Jesus stand in to millions of America's most gullible, Donald Trump's recent assertion on Sean Hannity's show. 
Pictured: the listing for President Donald J. Trump: The Son of Man - The Christ,
a book that asserts that Trump is, and I wish I were joking, the second coming. 
Of Christ. Yes, literally Christ. Mike Pence is his Judas. No, really.
You know the one I'm thinking of. The one about how the mere power of his thoughts while President are enough to declassify documents without any sort of procedure or witnesses or signatures of paper trail or oversight or...you get the idea.

Above: Mar a Lago, the resort/legal null
zone where things are whatever Trump
says they are and no one can prosecute.
"There doesn't have to be a process, as I understand it...if you're the President of the United States, you can declassify just by saying it's declassified, even by thinking about it. There can be a process, but there doesn't have to be. You're the President--you make that decision. So when you send it, its declassified. I declassified everything."

-Donald Trump, on how everything 
he touches is instantly less classy

Not since Gandalf fought Sarumon has
the world witnessed two septugenarians 
battle each other using magic powers.
Which, I mean, that's not how it works. Of course that's not how it works. If there doesn't have to be a process, then why is there a process? It's not optional. Also, he's not the President anymore so by this logic can't Joe Biden just use his magic President powers to re-classify the documents Trump stole? You know, just by thinking about it? And what's this "as I understand it" nonsense? Is that his lawyerly move to avoid prosecution? Because someone explained to him how this works. Of course someone did. This is national security we're talking about.

This guy's preposterous political career has been nothing but a power creep. Just a narcissistic goon laying claim to powers he has absolutely no right to. I can shoot someone on fifth avenue, I can overturn the election, I can grab'em by the--nevermind. The point is, if there's any justice in the universe, we'll all someday gather around our phones and televisions to watch the live stream of the perp walk into a minimum security prison. For like six months. What? I'm realistic, he probably won't even get that.
Followed by rioting MAGA nuts who think he's Jesus. Like, actually Jesus.


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