Wrong again, e-commerce algorithm!

Pictured: the arcane mathematical sorcery
 that once decided that I'd want socks with
photos of the dog I don't have on them. 

A lot is made of how frighteningly intrusive the internet has become. Like, I think we all have stories of talking about something out loud only to see an ad for that very thing appear on Facebook within hours. I don't understand the math behind it, but I gather that we're constantly leaving some kind digital footprints through our online activity. Footprints that allow sites to tailor advertisements to our particular needs and interests. It's a grim commerce addled dystopia that reduces us to simple algorithmic profit potentialities.

Fine. We're nothing more than grist for the e-commerce mill to these people. But what I want to know is how come this still happens:

Well? Are you sharing my outrage?

Um, no. No I will not.

What, you don't see it? Look closely. Nestled on this gaming website in the 75% percent of the screen that is advertising, is an ad for something called Nine Line Apparel, a company that "Represents The Grit And Commitment Of All Patriotic Americans." Which, yeah...it's one of those. So if you've ever wondered where the dudes who drive their over-sized pick up trucks through crowds of protestors buy their dumb "Keep Calm and Double Tap" shirts, this is the place. And yeah, I don't think they understand what capital letters are for either. But then I'm probably not "relentlessly patriotic" enough. Or gritty enough. Patriotic Americans Capitalize Every Word. That's how much they love the shit out of America. Well, parts of America maybe. So why then am I getting this ad?

Nine Line Apparel makes it clear that if you're not constantly rocking a Don't Tread on Me t-shirt, or packing some heat in one of their 3 Season Concealed Carry Jackets, then you're probably a terrorist. Or worse, a socialist. 

I uh...holy shit. What are their everyday lives like that 
even a light fall jacket has to have a pocket for their Glock?

Despite what the t-shirt says, they
are neither silent nor a majority.

And you know, this is the kind of thing that drives me out of my mind. Look, I don't begrudge others their dumb, hyper-aggressive, black and white flag nonsense...ok, fine, I kind of do. But I just resent the suggestion that they're somehow more American because they love guns and everything they own is camouflage. They're not more or less anything, except perhaps more paranoid. And harder to see in a heavily wooded area. But not more American. It seems like it's only the political Right that does this. 

Like, you never see people on the left dismissing entire swaths of the population as un-American. Dumb, maybe, but not un-American. And in our defense, entire swaths of the population are still telling themselves that the COVID-vaccine contains tracking devices and that Trump secretly won the election so, you know, it's not coming from nowhere.

Also, we don't run around in T-shirts with progressive slogans on them.
Which, I suppose is owning more to the fact that our nuanced and
thoughtful political views can't be summed up as snappily.