Tuesday, August 18, 2020

More like ha-don't-ken...

Look, I don't want to tell the goons from the idiotically named "Trump Make America Great Again Committee" how to peddle their feckless discount fascist, but I'm not sure that appropriating 90's fighting game imagery is the way to go for a number of reasons.
Um, how dare they?
"No wear mask, COVID hoax!"
-people answering
that last question
I mean, who does this ad even speak to? Gamers? Fans of shitty photoshop? Who? And what's with the weird grid laid over the background? Is that so we get that it's supposed to be a video game? Is Biden's martial arts outfit reading as Chinese a subtle attempt to get people to associate him with China? And is anyone really that dumb? I suppose that's something only the Trump Make America Great Again Committee knows for sure. Probably with a grunt or maybe a monosyllable, because for real, Trump Make America Great Again

Being old isn't a bad thing. Being a terrible
person is and that's my issue with him.
Also, and not to be indelicate here, but is putting Donald Trump in some kind of athletic context a good move? Look, I'm not going to insult your intelligence and preface this with "I don't want to sound ageist but" because this is going to sound ageist and for that I am sorry. And I'm also fully aware that Joe Biden is a couple years older. But is putting their seventy-four year old cheeseburger enthusiast in a karate gi and having him sail through the air doing anything but reminding us that this man can't even shamble down a slight incline without help? The answer is no, because I'd forgotten all about that until I got this dumb ad. Oh, and speaking of, thanks for nothing targeted advertisement algorithm.

The fighter focuses their chi into a projectile
that can-you know what? Never mind. 
I'm not trying to help them improve their ad or anything, but the visual reference is clearly Street Fighter II, so why not have him fire a hadoken at his opponent? That way they could have avoided the hilarious suggestion that the visibly overweight President could possibly launch himself across the screen like some kind of-huh? Oh, a hadoken is when a fighter focuses their chi into a fiery projectile that can-you know what? Just trust me when I say that it's basically karate magic and more plausible than Trump doing a jump kick.

And not for nothing, but Joe Biden would take him in a fight. He wouldn't lower himself to street fighting, but if he were forced into it, he'd totally kick Trump's ass and there's a part of me, a small part of me that I'm not proud of that would love to see that. Preferably a tag team situation with Pence and Harris.
Pictured: Biden and Harris, seen here donning ninja masks
 for their magic karate fight with Trump and Pence. 

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