Because America

What I'm saying is that if there was ever so much as a shred of justification for the interpretation of the Second Amendment as carte blanc for anyone with a pulse to own fire arms it died on Monday.

There wasn't, I'm just saying if
there was. I mean, look at this idiot. 

Every day these heroes put their lives on the
line. It's all part of wearing the uniform.

Officially. No, not with another mass shooting, although you'd think that'd be what it took since we can't go a week without at least one. Instead, whatever credibility right to bear arms fans had left was extinguished the moment some assholes threatened the underpaid staff at a Houston Popeye's with death. Actual death because, get this: they ran out of fried chicken sandwiches. This isn't a joke, this is real and this is what our love affair with guns, the Second Amendment and the NRA has wrought, and we are all to blame. Well, mostly Republicans, but still...

Responsible parenting tip: when
threatening restaurant workers with a
gun, always leave the baby in the car.

According to the local news, a car containing two women, three men and a baby-a baby-drove up to the drive through window-huh? No, I'm spelling it "through" because "thru" isn't a goddamn word. Anyway, they drove up to the drive through and ordered chicken sandwiches. They were told that the restaurant had sold out of them so they parked, left the baby in the car, and approached the door. Then one of them drew a gun because America. The manager locked them out and they left without murdering anyone, but holy shit, right?

Worth dying for? No.
Killing for? Evidently.

And sure, I guess choking down five hundred calories of grease and whatever chicken parts comprise this sandwich is our God-given right, that goes without saying. But is it really the staff's fault they ran out? Isn't this guy's beef with corporate? And what's in this sandwich that five adults-twenty-somethings, but still, technically adults-thought brandishing a gun was a proportional response? And it's not just them, some dude in Tennessee is suing for thousands of dollars in damages because his local Popeye's also ran out. I mean, order some wings and a large soda instead and get on with your life.

Hang on, sorry, I was almost approaching this rationally and these aren't rational situations. There's no reasoning with people who continue to rail against gun laws in the face of nonsense like this. This is not a well maintained militia, this is legitimate, end of civilization lunacy and I invite us all to point to it next time someone claims that good guys with guns will save us from bad guys with guns.

"We absolutely must protect the rights of our citizens to bear arms. What if
the British were to return or if the government were to become tyrannical?
 And God help us all if Popeye's runs out of chicken sandwiches."

-James Madison, condemning us to 

centuries of gun-loving bullshit