Keep your fingers crossed for a Porygon...

Eww...gross. And by 'ew...gross,' I'm referring to the prospect of our next President being a short-tempered former gameshow host who and I don't think I'm alone in suspecting this, may be an elaborate prank. But to be clear, I'm not saying 'ew...gross' because someone's putting up a bunch of nude Donald Trump statues.

So either there's a Porygon hiding down there of the passers
by are way too interested in getting closeups of his junk.

Just because you're an indy anarchist
artist collective doesn't mean
you don't need good branding...

The statues, in New York, Seattle, Los Angeles, D.C., San Francisco and Cleveland are of a naked and angry-looking Trump with flabby, mottled skin, veins and because satire is alive in America, a micropenis. They were built and set up by an artist collective called INDECLINE. The project is called The Emperor Has No Balls and if you're interested you can watch a video of one being built on their website, all set to music and sound bites of some of the horseshit that routinely dribbles from his mouth. Interestingly you can also pick up some fine INDECLINE merchandise in their online store. Anyway, I'm a little conflicted about this. The statue thing, not the merchandising...although I guess that feels a little off to me too now that I think about it.

Parks Commissioner Mitchell J. Silver
invited everyone to try the waiters and to tip
the veal before concluding the press briefing.

But before we get into that, there's this. Go ahead, click on it. No seriously. Well? No? Fine, I'm sum up: the New York Parks Department took down and destroyed that city's Trump statue because, well I guess you can't just go around putting up statues like you own the place. But the best part is that they released a statement saying: 

"NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small."

-the NYC Parks Department, winner of the 

2016 Best Municipal Press Release Award 

for excellence in departmental press releases 

Wait, is our culture Mean Girls?
Like before Lindsay Lohan
shows them the error of their ways?

Get it? Because erection? Ok, look, I know this is Donald Trump and he is, objectively speaking, the living, bloviating embodiment of everything wrong with America. And yeah, as far as I'm concerned it's open season. That said, how is this not body shaming? I don't mean to suggest that Trump has anything analogous to the human emotion known as shame, but I kind of feel like the statue in depicting an overweight, bemicropenised Trump, albeit cartoonishly, is equating physical attributes with negative personality traits.

Which, well, we do that all the time, but shouldn't we not? Again, I'm not leaping to the defense of America's favorite orange racist. He is himself a font of misogyny and intolerance, but I guess what's not sitting well with me about The Emperor Has No Balls, is that it feels a little like they're stooping. I get that caricature is a time honored way to criticize public figures, but they're calling him out for being physically unattractive when there are so many reasons to call him ugly on the inside.

"We believe that the voters have a right to know how big our art
collective thinks Trump's penis is. Spoiler alert: it's comically small."

-An INDECLINE spokesperson, 

whom I have made up